“Do you ever think about what our lives will be like after college? Like, five years from now … or ten?” I open my eyes, tilting my head to stare up at the stars.
“That’s easy,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “We’ll be married with kids and deliriously happy.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. There’s no other way for our story to turn out.”
1
Riley
She’sstillthemostbeautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
Older, of course. Her face is a little thinner than I remember, a little paler, shaped by years I wasn't here to witness. She’s no longer the teenage girl who still haunts my dreams. She’s a woman now—unmistakably so. And she wears it well.
My eyes take her in greedily, roving over every visible inch of her body and causing my hands to tingle as I recall the feeling of holding her, caressing her. The softness of her skin.Her curves. Though she’s still slender, her breasts are fuller now, her hips a little wider.
And fuck me, it looks good on her.
Stephanie Miller.Steph.My Steph.
Well … not mine anymore.
She hasn’t been mine for a long time.
I watch as she smiles and leans into the woman seated next to her, who appears to be talking a mile a minute. It’s evident they’re close. Besides the fact that they’re both in the wedding party and obviously good friends of the bride, their familiarity with each other is apparent in their body language and the amused looks they exchange. Steph bites her lip and then chuckles, her shoulders shaking. She says something that causes the other woman to throw her head back and laugh along with her. Lucy Sage, I think, remembering the skinny girl with the dirty fingernails and out-of-control curls. She sometimes used to tag along with my brother and Ava while they roamed the town on their bikes. She’s all grown up now, too, it seems.
And Ava? My mind draws up an image of the bossy little tomboy, hands on her hips as she stood up to bullies on the playground. My brother’s best friend, and the one who was always getting him into trouble. She’s … gone, now.
Shit, I can’t even think about that right now.
The reality of just how long I’ve been away hits me for the umpteenth time since I arrived home late last night.Home. Can I even still call it that after all the time that’s passed?
So much has changed.
I’m at my brother’s wedding, for one. Mylittlebrother’s wedding, though he’s no longer the gangly thirteen-year-old I remember. He’s unquestionably a man now. With a career. And a wife.
With alife.
And I’ve missed it all.
The thought causes a familiar heaviness to settle in my chest. It’s not a new one, though it hits a hell of a lot harder when actually faced with the proof of all I’ve missed.
I’ve lost so much time. Wasted it. Because of my shame.
I swallow thickly, gazing at Aidan. The reception is being held in a large white tent in Henry Evans’ backyard along the shoreline of Hedd Lake. I have only vague memories of the older man, though I do recall him being a kindly sort. According to my mother, he’s become something of an honorary father to Piper—my brother’s new wife—having taken her under his wing when she was new to Llyn Lakes.
The darkening sky and gently lapping waves form the perfect backdrop to the long head table where my brother sits with a giggling Piper now perched in his lap. The wedding party is seated to either side of them. Candles and low vases of what appear to be wildflowers adorn the table in front of them, and Aidan’s eyes glint lovingly in the candlelight as he smiles down at his woman as though she’s the very air he needs to breathe.
I know that feeling—rememberit well.
The sound of cutlery tapping against glass starts up to my right, and before long, it’s reverberating throughout the tent as others join in, encouraging the groom to kiss his bride.
My brother is happy to oblige them, leaning down and claiming her lips in a kiss that is borderline inappropriate. No one seems to mind, though, as tittering erupts around us and several of his buddies in the back whoop and holler at them in approval. Even our mother, seated beside me, lets out an amused snort. When he finally pulls away, the happiness on his face causes my heart to ache. His eyes move around the room, and he smiles at his friends, his boss, our mother … but skips easily over me.
I’m not a part of it, I think wistfully. His life, his family, his joy. Nor will I likely ever have that type of love and happiness for myself.
Not again, anyway.
