This is pure bliss.
He’s stroking his tongue with mine and it’s so good. It’s soo good, and–
A noise from the bottom of the stairs interrupts us, and then James’ voice calls out, “How’re we doing up there? Do you have any questions for me?”
Noah pulls back, though not completely. He drops his forehead to mine and we stand there a moment gulping in air.
Then he lets out a sigh and steps away.
My eyelids flutter before I open them, meeting his gaze. He holds my stare and I think he’s attempting to discern if I have any regrets. I don’t and I hope he doesn’t either. When his lips tip up in a soft smile that I know is only for me I think I have my answer.
???
NOAH
“Okay, I admit, that was kinda fun.”
Lucy giggles and my heart leaps at the sweet sound. She giggled the whole way down two flights of stairs after almost being caught by the realtor making out like a pair of horny teenagers.
“Told ya!”
I’m holding her hand as we make our way back to The Bean, and I give her a quick squeeze in acknowledgment. My face is practically aching with the amount I’ve been smiling today. She just does that to me. It’s like I’m a whole different person when we’re together, and I like this Noah.
Even when she’s pulling me out of my comfort zone and forcing me into a fake marriage of real estate convenience, I’m happy–just because I’m with her. And honestly? Despite the slight discomfort that the lie brought at first, Ilovedpretending that we were a real couple. I loved the freedom that came from it, from being close to her without having to second guess every look, every touch, every caress.
And maybe, after that kiss, I don’t have to. Something passed between us in that moment when we broke apart. It was … an offer and acceptance.I think. An agreement that we stop denying ourselves what feels so utterly right and explore this thing for real. Or at least, that’s my take on it. I know we have to be careful. I know there will be consequences if it goes badly, but … I think we owe it to ourselves and our baby to at least try.
What if we could be arealfamily?
Maybe that’s not the right word because I know we’ll be a family no matter what happens, but what if we could actually do this together … in the traditional committed sense? For a guy who’s always felt alone even in a room full of people, that sounds good. It sounds really, really good. Because with Lucy I don’t feel alone. I feel connected. To her, to our child, to something bigger than just us.
It’s hope, I think.
Hope for a future I never had the nerve to even dream of before this beautiful, free-spirited, wildcat of a woman got me drunk and banged me on a beach in the middle of the night.
I chuckle now at the absurdity of it. It’s sounlikeme, but ithappened. And I’m so thankful that it did.
Lucy shoots me a questioning look but I just squeeze her hand again and shake my head. She stops suddenly, dropping her head back to the sky and taking in a deep breath. She’s savoring the smell of fall. It’s something that I would have never thought to do before her, but now I find myself taking note of my surroundings, the beauty of the world around us. I drop my head back and do the same, sucking in deep lungfuls, relishing in the freshness of the season, inhaling the smells and cataloging them to memory so that when I recall this day, as I know I will years from now, it’ll be vivid and fully formed. Damp earth, wet leaves, the smoke from someone’s fireplace. The lingering coffee and cinnamon aroma that follows anyone who’s been to The Bean, and the spicy, slightly musky scent that is justher.
When I lift my head and open my eyes again she’s watching me. Her hazel eyes look almost completely green in the warm sunlight, and her curls dance on the afternoon breeze.
She’s so lovely.
My eyes fall to her soft, plump lips and I relive the feeling of them moving against mine in that bathroom.
Was that only fifteen minutes ago?
I already want to do it again.Badly.
We have yet to discuss the kiss and what it means for us going forward, perhaps both afraid to disrupt the perfectness of the afternoon. It’s possible that I’ve read her all wrong, but … the way she melted against me, the sounds she made, the look in her eyes … I don’t think I have.
Lucy resumes her walking, pulling me along and swinging our arms cheerily between us.
I know we’ll have to discuss it at some point, but it can wait.
For now, I’m content to just wander the streets with her, holding her hand, and laughing together.
CHAPTER 13
