A sniffle could be heard from where we stood. Tuck and I shared another look, both of us beaming ear to ear, a tear falling from my eye.
“Okay,” Reed replied nonchalantly.
“Okay, again?” Cam repeated the question.
“All we have ever wanted is for you to be happy. And I am so glad you are. We love you.” Wren said through sniffling. God, she's always been so emotional.
“I’m proud of you forfinallychoosing you, Cam. I am so happy for you.” You could hear the smile in Reed’s voice
Before I could hear any more conversation, Tucker opened the door and slammed it shut, saying, “Helloooo!”
I shot him a glare as he whispered through gritted teeth. “Probably best we pretend we didn’t just hear all of that, as huh?” He bent down and kissed my forehead before toeing off his shoes.
“Hey, guys!” Wren said, carefully dabbing her cheeks with her sleeve.
We walked toward them as the door opened.
“Hey Dax!” Reed walked over to him, far too excited.
“Hey, man. Saw you about an hour ago, but hey.” He rolled his eyes at my brother, his roommate.
I knew I wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him since wehadn’t spoken in so long, and now seemed like the best opportunity. I walked back to the front door as he finished shrugging out of his winter coat. “You’re coming with me.” I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into my studio.
“Harper, what is going on?” He wasn’t angry, just confused. My eyes met his, and he looked… tired. Dax was thirty-eight but could almost always pass for my age or even a year younger. But now? He looked so much older. Dax clearly hadn’t had a night's worth of sleep in who knows how long. I felt for him. His dark, black hair was braided in two braids; the ends were still bleached and sun-worn, but he would never cut his hair, and we knew that. His jaw was covered in scruff, while it seemed he was trying to grow a mustache instead. I swear to God, if all the guys decided on shaving their beards and opting for mustaches, I would scream.
With how tired he looked, it made sense that his normally golden skin looked dull. This was so unlike him. His dark brown eyes normally added to his stern expression, but now he just looked… sad. He wore a plain black hoodie, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, showing off his tattoos, and a pair of black jeans.
He placed his hands on my shoulder, snapping me out of my trance. “Harper. What is going on, kid?”
“First,” I said, shrugging his hands off my shoulder. “Don’t call me, kid. You and my boyfriend are less than a year apart. It's weird. Second, are you okay? I’ve been a shit friend, and we haven’t really talked about anything. But then I saw you at the Halloween party.” I paused, noticing the way he stiffened when I mentioned the party. “I just need to know if you're okay.”
He smiled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m okay, just going through some stuff.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was going to propose to her. I bought the ring right before she got the offer to work in Oregon.”
I gasped, placing a hand over my mouth. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head.
He laughed softly at my reaction. “I’m just not coping well. But I’ll be okay. I appreciate you asking.” He gave my head two pats, causing me to roll my eyes, then turned around, heading for the door. “Got any booze,kid?”
I sighed, “Cam probably bought something. But seriously, Dax, you know Reed and I are always here for you.”
He leaned his head on the doorframe. “Harp, I’m almost forty. I knew what I wanted, and now I don’t. I didn’t want to have to start over, and now I do. That’s my burden to bear. I love you, kid, but I got this. It’s just… difficult.” He opened the door and walked out.
I took a deep breath, feeling queasy again. I walked out of the room, heading to the kitchen. They must’ve got pizza delivered while we were talking. Cam was always so on top of things. Tuck was leaning against my kitchen sink, nursing a beer and talking to Reed. I was trying to keep it together, but the room felt like it was a million degrees, and I was getting dizzy. I couldn’t focus on much, but felt hands cup my cheeks.
“Baby. Harper. Are you okay?” Cam’s eyes were laced with concern. I blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what was going on. He glanced at Tucker and back at me.
I managed a small smile and held his wrists, silently steadying myself. “Yeah, I just need a minute, I think.”
I quickly pulled away from him and walked up my stairs to my bathroom. I think I was having an anxiety attack. I locked the door, pressing my back against it and sliding down. I wrapped my arms around my knees and focused on my breathing. When that didn’t work, I tried a grounding technique. I needed to feel here and not in my head.
I whispered to myself. “I can see my teal toothbrush. I see a floral, pink shower curtain. I see a white vanity. I see the pink and white tiles. I see the black bath mat.” I took a slow, deepbreath. Then I listed four things I could feel, three things I could hear, two things I could smell, and one thing I could taste. By the time I got to one, I was so much calmer. I stood slowly, still feeling nauseous but not as anxious.
A soft knock on the door made me open it earlier than I wanted.
“Hi.” I breathed out, leaning my head against the door frame.
“You, okay?” Wren placed her hand on my arm; she was visibly concerned for me.
“Yeah, not sure what happened, just felt… a lot.” I let out a small laugh, trying not to show I didn't feel like myself.
