Zion cracks open a can and passes it across the counter.
I take a long swig of the cold beer and set it on the counter. “You all just got here. Do we need to have this conversation now?”
“Fine. It can wait.” Ray sighs. “But you’re not off the hook.”
I give him a nod, grateful for the reprieve.
“In that case, I have an announcement,” Benji says.
All three of us turn to him with curious expressions.
He drags his fingers through his hair and breaks into a smirk. “Lydia is pregnant.”
“Shit, man!” Zion clamps his shoulder and shakes him back and forth roughly.
“Congratulations,” Raymond roars. “That’s great news.”
It’s silent for a beat, and then my friends are staring me down. Oh. Shit. I’m the only one who hasn’t responded.
“Cheers, Benj.” I raise my beer in a toast.
The four of us tap our cans, then tip them back.
Lydia and Benji have been dating for nearly two years, and from the short amount of time I’ve spent with her, she seems really wonderful.
Memories of the day Daisy told me she was pregnant flash through my mind at lightning speed. She yearned to start a family not long after we were married, but I wasn’t sure if we were ready. I thought we should grow the camp before adding more responsibility to our lives. We were young, I didn’t see the rush. But it took Daisy’s mom nearly three years to get pregnant, and she worried that we might have the same issue. In the end, we decided to not necessarily try for a baby but not prevent it either. One month later, we were greeted by those two blue lines. We were both surprised, but while Daisy was elated, I was numb with shock. A part of me felt misled, honestly. I’d convinced myself it would take longer. That we’d have a little more time for ourselves and our marriage.
My sour mood vanished, though, when Daisy began throwing up every morning. She was utterly miserable and it killed me that she had to go through such distress.
And when I first felt the baby kick? I was a goner. What I wouldn’t give to have that feeling back.
“You okay, man?” Benji asks.
“Hmm?” I shake off my haunted thoughts and plaster on a smile. “Of course. Just happy for you. When is Lydia due? How’s she feeling?”
“Not until the end of the year. And she’s feeling great, now that she’s in the second trimester.”
“Are you going to get married?” I blurt out.
Rather than take offense, Benji just lifts one shoulder. “Lydia wants to wait until after the baby is born. Maybe even a little longer. She said she doesn’t want to endure the stress of planning a wedding while she’s pregnant.”
“And how do you feel about it?” Zion asks.
“I’m not going anywhere, so it doesn’t matter to me. I’d get married tomorrow or five years from now.”
“I thought you didn’t want to get married again. What changed your mind?” My question comes out a little brusque, but the four of us have been through so much shit that meddling questions like these don’t even faze us.
He shrugs. “I guess I realized I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. What Lydia and I have is good. More than good. What I had with Everly was special too, but she would want me to live my life.”
Beside me, Ray nods. I’m too caught up in our buddy’s words to react.
When a stray tear rolls down Benji’s cheek, Zion cuffs his neck and murmurs encouragement.
“Plus, I’m forty. I’m not getting any younger.” He forces out a pitiful laugh.
“We’re happy for you,” Ray says. “You’re going to be a wonderful father.”
“Thanks,” he murmurs, his smile sincere.
