I tilt her chin up, my eyes locked with hers. “No. It’s not okay. But I hope you’ll accept my apology. I promise to make better choices.”
Nodding, she says, “I forgive you.”
After exchanging kisses, I embrace her again. Tight, as if she’ll become untethered from me and float up into the sky if I don’t.
“You know what? Grandma says two things can be true,” my daughter tells me, sounding far too grown up. “She says she can be sad that my mom diedandhappy that I was born.”
“Grandma is very wise,” I remark, making a mental note to thank Jack and Natalie for being so wonderful. “So are you.” I kiss her head.
“You can be sadandhappy, Daddy.”
“You’re right. And do you know what makes me happy?”
“Claire,” she announces joyfully, throwing Bunny in the air again and nearly whacking me in the face.
My lungs seize up. When did this little girl get so perceptive?
23
Claire
The next morning,my wake-up call comes in the form of a precocious five-year-old whispering in my ear. But I’ll take her mousey little voice over my obnoxious alarm jingle any day. Especially when the rousing is followed by her hot dad handing me coffee in bed.
A girl could get used to this.
No. My heart sinks. I cannot let myself get used to this treatment. It’s only for the summer. By Labor Day, I’ll be back in the city, continuing on with my career.
Bea, eager for the day to begin, bounces off my bed and takes off down the hall. Asher follows after her, giving me a moment to myself. At the other end of the house, the two of them open and close drawers, then fill a bowl with cereal.
Sitting up, I bring the mug to my lips, letting the steam warm my face and basking in the smoky aroma.
Several minutes later, Asher returns, setting fresh sheets on the foot of my bed, along with a basket full of clean laundry. “Hey, you awake yet, or do you need another refill?”
“I’m good. Just relaxing.” I take another sip. “Thanks forbringing me coffee. I’m gonna need the name of your pusher. This stuff is addicting.”
His smile is a better wake-up call than any form of caffeine. “You sound like your brother. Do I need to set up an intervention for the Connellys?”
“Nah. I’m okay. But if I ever ask you to inject it in my veins, that’s the sign you need to rally the troops.”
“Got it,” he laughs, though there’s an uneasiness to the sound. “Are you sure you’re okay with Dr. Love staying in here for the weekend?”
“While she covers my shifts so I can celebrate my friends’ nuptials? She can have an orgy in here for all I care.”
“Gross,” Asher laughs, though he looks anything but disgusted.
“Seriously, it’s nice of her to help out on such short notice. Millie and Ezra are excited that we can be there. What about you? Are you okay leaving Bea? Have you been away from her for that long before?”
He crosses his arms and bounces nervously on his toes. “Nope.”
“No, you’re not going to be fine, or no, you haven’t been away from her for that long? Because we can totally come back a day early?—”
“No, I have not been away from her for that long, but I’ll be fine. Jack and Natalie insisted we stay three nights.”
For several seconds, I inspect him, searching for an answer to a question I’m not sure I want to ask. When I can’t find what I’m looking for, I finally force the words out. “Do they, um, know about us? I mean, do they know we’ve been…” I trail off, taking a sip of coffee.
“Fucking?” he finishes for me.
I damn near choke at his bluntness, but he appears amused.
