Before he can respond, Ethan slaps him on the back. “Not too bad, son.”
We enter the dining hall at the golf and country club, and before my brother removes his flat bill hat, I catch a glimpse of a grin. I can’t help but smile too. Ethan has been more of a father in the last two hours than Rob ever was to either of us.
“I won’t be a pro any time soon, but I guess it was all right.”
Ethan winks at me liketeens, eh?
“I had a blast,” I chime in. “Thank you.”
“You sure you don’t want to go for a full eighteen?”
Kane scoffs. “There areninemore holes?”
He downs an entire glass of water at the table before our food arrives, and while Ethan and I get into a friendly debate about the New York City public school system, I notice Kane picking at his food. The kid is like a garbage disposal, so this raises a red flag. “Is your steak okay?”
“Yeah.” He swirls his fork over his potatoes. “My stomach doesn’t feel great. Must be something I ate earlier.”
His cheeks are flushed, and his hairline is sweaty, but it’s a million degrees on Long Island today, so that isn’t unexpected.
When Kane excuses himself to use the restroom, Ethan leans in across the table. “You’re a good man to that boy.”
I straighten, caught off guard by the compliment. “Oh, I don’t know?—”
“Ah-ah.” He points at me with his fork. “Don’t do that. My son does that too. Deflects compliments on his parenting ability.”
“I just…” Lips pressed together, I take a moment to gather my thoughts. “I just want to make him happy.”
“I may not be your father,” Ethan says, “but can I offer you a piece of parenting advice?”
“By all means, please.”
“It’s not our job to make our kids happy.”
“But—”
“No.” His voice is stern but benevolent. “It’s our job to keep them safe and fed andmostlyclean and to love them unconditionally. But it’s not our job to make them happy. Nor is it their job to makeushappy.”
I shift in my seat as I let his words sink in. “How do I know if I’m doing a good job, though? It’s not like he’s passing out gold stars.”
“Our children are not going to praise us. Sure, when they’re young, they tell us we’re the greatest dad in the world. But then, for many years, that stops, and we’re forced to put up with their shit.” He laughs.
I huff in return, wondering if one day I’ll understand that firsthand.
“I’ll have to share those stories another day. The point is that though they may not tell us we’re doing a great job in the obvious sense, they tell us in other ways.”
“How so?”
“Does Kane come to you if he has a problem? Does he tell you about his day?”
When I don’t answer right away, Ethan takes a sip from his IPA and regards me. “Did Millie ever tell you about the day she came out to us as queer?”
With a quick look toward the restroom, I shake my head.
“My older brother is queer, and we did our best to raise Millie and Asher as allies, so when they were in elementary school, my wife and I sat them down and told them that regardless of their sexual orientation, they’d have our full support. That we’d love them no matter what.”
Damn, I want to be Ethan when I grow up.I don’t know what that says about my daddy kink, but I’ll worry about that another day.
“How did they respond?”
