I swirl a fry in my ketchup while the chatter of the diner echoes around us. Talking about a failed date isn’t anything new to me. I’ve become numb to it. So, when I give Ellie the recap, she frowns. The only thing I don’t tell her is Tyler mentioning my yapping about August. I’m purposefully avoiding a rather uncomfortable conversation about her brother and my feelings toward him.
The server comes by and fills up our glasses, noticing they’re almost empty.
“I guess the way he handled it was sweet?” Ellie says. “He could have been a jerk about it. It’s rare these days to find a nice guy. Especially since we’re practically thirty.”
My head falls back onto the booth, and I let out a groan. “Please don’t mention the number thirty.”
Growing up, people said my thirties would be smooth sailing. Apparently, I’m supposed to know what I want and be confident in my choices. My twenties are supposed to be my selfish years—pursuing my dreams, figuring out who I am. I have nothing to lose. Old enough to make the right decisions, and young enough to choose the wrong ones. It’s a time to fall in and out of love, travel, and learn my likes and dislikes.
And as I enter my thirties, I’ll stop being so afraid and care less about other people’s opinions. If some friendships fade, I’ll find joy in the ones I have now. I should trust my decisions more, I guess. March to the beat of my own drum, blah blah blah.
I still feel like a lost puppy trying to figure outhow to walk and who to trust. Mom really knew how to knock down my confidence anytime it would shine through.
Ellie laughs when she takes a drink through her straw. “It’s not the end of the world, Ry. I hear that your thirties are better than your twenties.”
“Whoever said that lied.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be such a cynic.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Do you know how many men would go down on their knees for you?”
I toss my hair over my shoulder. “Well, duh. I know that. I just haven’t had a guy who piqued my interest enough to let them get on their knees.”
“There’s the Riley I know and love. A woman who knows her worth.” Ellie looks behind her and to the counter where different pies are displayed on glass cake stands. “And who knows, maybe you’ll meet some hot guy at the resort in Mexico?” Ellie wiggles her brows.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure people who go to resorts are families.”
“It’s an adult-only resort. Anyway, I’m so excited. I’m so over this weather.”
“I’m surprised Rowan even agreed to have his birthday at a resort.”
“I’m really good at convincing him to do things.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are.” I giggle into my glass as I take a drink of water.
Ellie throws her balled-up napkin at me. “Shut up. I’m gonna go get some pie. Want some?”
“I’m good.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
The diner is a small, cozy, quaint space. There are three booths on each side of the entryway with families piled intoeach one. A group of elderly men sits at the counter, across from where the cook works on the flattop grill.
Teenage couples take up the two and four-seat tables. They flirt, laugh, and curl into each other. Am I seriously jealous of teenage couples right now? It’s only jealousy because it reminds me of a time when that was the boy next door and me.
August Thompson. My once very close friend, who made me feel like I could take on the world. Nothing stops me from thinking about him, especially now when I know his world has been turned upside down with the news of his dad’s sickness.
August always looked up to his father. He is his hero. I can’t help but wonder if he’s sinking back into that vulnerable little boy. The boy I’d stay up with late at night while we watched television shows when we should have been sleeping. My heart aches for Ellie, but it aches more for August.
The desire to hold him close and soothe his concerns is intense. But I can’t. Not when I’m the one who pushed him away all those years ago.
TWO
AUGUST
I’m forcing a smile on my face while Dad and I sit outside. It’s become so strained that I may look like the Joker. The flames rising from the bonfire float up into the sky, keeping Dad and me warm. It’s been dreary and cold this winter; everyone in Dove Point is ready for it to be summer again.
