“Are those your favorite or something?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve worn them ever since I was a kid. I would skateboard with my friends through town. We would try to find the highest hill possible, and I always had my Vans. I’ve broken many boards.”
A smile tugs on my lips, and I continue to laugh. I hear his laugh, and when I hear it close, we have the same laugh. I always thought my laugh was silly and a little bit annoying but knowing it’s something else I share with my dad; I don’t find it really annoying anymore.
“Can I show you something?” he asks.
I sit up straighter and say, “Sure.”
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his brown leather wallet. Is he going to show me all the hundred-dollar bills he keeps in it? When he opens it, he pulls something out from a small pocket and shows it to me.
A small boy with his two front teeth missing. His hair is disheveled while wearing his Power Rangers pajamas, and his arms are wrapped around a young girl with thick, wild hair. Both give the biggest smile they possibly can.
“I’ve had that in my wallet for about twenty-three years. Any time I would buy a new wallet; it would go into that one. I always keep it with me.” He looks down at the photo, smiling.
I think about Addie and what she would think about all of this. Would she roll her eyes at this gesture? Probably not, since she would most likely not give him the time of day to begin with.
I look at my dad, his eyes beaming with pride.
He puts his hand back on my shoulder and says, “I would love to have you two back in my life if you let me. Be a part of me and Amy and your stepsiblings.”
That gets my attention quickly, and I look up at him. Stepsiblings? I didn’t notice any photos, family photos. Then again, everything stunned me. I don’t even remember stepping into the house.
He gives me a bright smile, and I look into his glossy eyes. I can feel my head starting to pound by the amount of crying I’ve just done. I can have my dad back. I can start over with him. Of course, I’m still weary and wonder if he will leave again. But I need to try, and I know he will too.
forty-nine
ROWAN
We’re finally backon the road after spendingthree hoursat my dad’s place. I didn’t expect to stay there that long or for how well it went. He’s done a lot of growing up from what I’ve learned, and it’s encouraged me that I can move on from things as well.
I don’t know how I’m going to tell Addie. She’s made it clear that she has no reason to see our dad. He wasn’t around, only Mom and Aunt Rosey. But she doesn’t know the entire story. Mom and Aunt Rosey only told us their side of the story, and that’s why I decided to go to him so I could decide on my own what path I wanted to take.
I found out that I have four stepsiblings, all Amy’s kids, and that Amy is a widower. She originally lived up north, and when she retired, she moved to the west coast. Her kids, now adults, are still in the area they grew up in but always come to visit for the holidays.
Ellie and I were invited to come back for the holidays. They also said I could bring my mom, Aunt Rosey, and Addie. Even Milo can tag along. We have a few months until I need to worry about that, where my head will be and my life. Especially with Ellie.
“Their house was huge, Rowan. I can’t wrap my head around it. They had an elevator that goes down into the wine cellar. An elevator!” Ellie shakes her head while she drives us back home.
She didn’t allow me to drive again because of the emotions I’d gone through. After what she went through with her parents and Charlie in one day, she knows that your energy is depleted after that. Ellie decides we need to let out the emotions we’ve both dealt with this summer so far and puts on a playlist.
Misery Businessby Paramore blares through the speakers, and we start to sing at the top of our lungs. I feel like a teenager all over again. The sun beyond us starts to set in the sky, changing the colors all around us to pinks, oranges, and purples.
The wind slams into me in the best way possible. I feel almost lighter. I feel like my younger self is starting to heal. I can have my dad back in my life. He’s letting me make the choices, letting me decide how quickly I want to move forward or how slow I want to take this.
I need to talk to my mom and tell her everything. Her opinion is the only one that matters to me when it comes to him.
I look over to the woman beside me who sings her heart out to the next song that plays. This is the Ellie I fell in love with all those years ago. I was able to get one person back into my life who I thought I’d never see or speak to again.
Now, I need to get the girl.
fifty
ELLIE
What a whirlwind of a week.
I told my parents about work, made the breakup permanent with Charlie, and inserted myself into meeting Rowan’s dad. That last one was going to happen no matter what. If he had called me, and I was still across the country, I would have booked a flight and gone straight to him.
