It’s the kind of love I only hoped for. I thought I had that with Charlie. I look down at the ring on my thumb, slowly spinning it as I think back to how our relationship used to be. He always catered to my needs, even when I didn’t ask. He would listen to me talk about my day and ask questions.
As the years went on, that dwindled. He would ask about my day, but not really listen, just nod and answer with one word. I would be the one to ask him what he wanted for dinner, and he would say it was whatever I wanted, not really caring.
Little by little, I started to care less and less. The spark was slowly dwindling until it was nothing but smoke. But I never noticed that feeling. Not until I came home.
“Well, I hope you do find what you’re looking for, honey. You deserve the best, and I hope you realize that” Mom says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I smile at her. “Yeah, I hope I find that out soon.”
thirty-two
ELLIE
After lunch,I decided to stop by Riley’s place before I had to head back home to start baking. I know this is just an excuse to procrastinate. But I’m dreading having to look at anything baking.
I approach Riley’s building. She lives above the town's coffee shop, Sip-Sip Hurray, in a cute little apartment. I hit the buzzer at the side door, hearing the ringing that allows me to enter. When I walk in, I’m hit with the aroma of coffee, and my body melts. Honestly, who needs candles when you can just smell coffee all day? The only time her place doesn’t smell like coffee is when the shop is closed.
She always opens the windows to waft out the smell and lights up her candles that smell like citrus. My favorite is pink lemonade.
“Hey, girly pop,” Riley shouts from her kitchen.
Her sage green velvet couch comes into view on the right side of the entrance. Her bay windows pour sunshine throughout the living room, the stained glass creating a prism across the hardwood floor. A large, fuzzy area rug sits in the middle, with a cute wooden table on top of it. A television sits on the wall across from the couch, with a decorative table underneath covered in candles, frames, and small cactus plants.
The kitchen sits on the left side of the room and is big enough for three people to stand in. The entryway of the kitchen is an arched wall that is decorated with drapes that are pulled to the side. Then there’s a long hall where her bedroom and bathroom are. Cute and quaint, if I do say so myself.
“Hey, Ry,” I say in exasperation.
“I hope you don’t mind, but Hailey is coming over.” Riley walks out of the kitchen and to the living room.
We both sit on the couch, and I move a decorative throw pillow on the floor to make more room for us.
“It’s fine. She can help me rethink my life decisions and where they’ve led me.” I throw my arm over my face and slump my body into the couch.
“What happened?”
“Oh, nothing. Just feeling existential dread. I’ve realized that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, and I’m almost ready to give up.”
“Ellie.” Riley reaches her hand out to me, placing it on my forearm.
“It’s fine. I think everything is just catching up to me now. I’m just mentally exhausted and trying to get over this stupid hump. I know it won’t stay like this forever, but you know how it is when you feel like nothing is going right in your life, and it feels like it’s not going to change?”
“Oh, trust me, I get it. I’m living in a small, but cute, apartment, working at a yoga studio half the time and at my dad’s dentist office the other half. I can’t stand being around my parents, yet I work at one of their businesses. I gave up a long time ago…my life sucks.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe you just need someone in your life that you can go home to and forget everything else? Getting excited to go home and see them. Catch up on each other’s day.”
Riley mimics a gag before saying, “Sounds gross.”
I chuckle and lightly hit her on the arm. We hear the door open and see Hailey.
“Yo,” Hailey says, throwing her bag on the floor.
“Hi.” I wave lazily.
“Hey, Hails,” Riley replies.
Hailey looks over at me as she sits on the floor and asks, “You, okay?”
“She’s having a life crisis. Just your normal Tuesday,” Riley says.
