“We are fully broken up. But by the end of the summer, I will know for certain if it will stay that way.” I lean back, letting my body rest and go slack again.
“Wait, you’re thinking about going back to him?” Riley asks in shock, her eyebrows flying up to her hairline.
I lean my head back and look up toward the clear blue sky. A bird flies by, and I pray it doesn’t shit on my face. That would tip me over the edge of no return.
“Honestly? I don’t know. We’ve been together for five years. We’ve talked about marriage and kids.” I pause, looking at Rowan, and I see a muscle tick in his jaw. I look back toward the group. “It’s not that simple.”
“It is! It's a very simple solution. You say, ‘fuck you’, give him the finger, and break up,” Riley states.
“Can I do anything? Canwedo anything?” Addie asks.
I shake my head, letting out a heavy sigh. “No, it’s fine. I just want to go home. I’m so exhausted, and all I want to do right now is sleep.” I try putting on a brave smile, but I feel so weak, mentally and physically. “I’ve gone almost four days without sleeping thanks to work, and this whole mess, and I can’t tell if this is all real or a hallucination.” I let out a laugh because I feel like I need to lighten up the mood with my horrible humor. It’s not working. “Is Milo here? I could use some of his energy and positivity,” I ask Rowan.
He turns his attention to me, giving me a small smile. “Oh, yeah. He’s sleeping in the office. Come on.”
Rowan stands up from his chair, and I follow. I pass by Riley, James, and Addie, all giving me sympathetic looks. I know damn well they’re going to talk once I’m far enough out of reach to hear them.
If anyone is going to continue to talk about what I just went through, I’d rather it be my close friends who know me versus the people in this town whothinkthey know me.
six
ROWAN
I look over at Ellie,who looks adorably tired. When we went into the office, Milo woke up and whimpered when he saw her.
He missed her just as much as I did.
It’s one of my favorite sights—seeing her with Milo. She’s the only one who knows those secret scratching spots that make him groan and collapse in pure bliss. It probably feels like ages since he’s seen her, even though she was home over the holidays.
I asked her if she was okay, truly okay, and not just saving face in front of our friends. Ellie is tough. She knows how to handle herself and doesn’t need any of us to keep her up on her feet. But I know this broke her heart.
Charlie. That piece of shit. I never thought he was good enough for her—I never ever thoughtanyguy was good enough for her after we ended things. I can only hope to run into him so I can knock him on his ass. And I’m not a fighter. I’ve never allowed myself to get to that level of anger. But Charlie has a punchable face so maybe it’s time I break my knuckles in.
Five minutes into our conversation, she was falling asleep on the couch. I didn’t feel comfortable having her drive when she was this tired. Falling asleep in my office meant she shouldn’t be driving her car.
I scooped her up from the couch and brought her to my Jeep, thinking about getting her car tomorrow instead. Her body was limp, and I could feel exhaustion radiating off her. Due to her lifestyle and always being on the go, I can’t help but wonder when the last time she took time for herself. Relax and not worry about work. If what she’s telling us is true, working long hours, not giving herself a break, then I’m happy she’s home.
I pull up to her parent's house and park the car.
“Thanks for bringing me home. I didn’t think I’d fall asleep that quickly on the couch,” Ellie’s voice comes out groggy.
“No problem. You know I’m always here to help in any way I can,” I say, giving her a crooked smile.
She leans her head back on the headrest and turns to look at me. Her sleepy blue eyes look bright and clear. The color always shone the brightest when she’d wake up. And I was always eager to see them.
Ellie would almost always nap after coming home from school. We’d leave once the day was done, go back to her place, watch some television, and do homework, only for her to fall asleep thirty minutes after we got there. By the time our favorite show would come on, I would gently wake her up by rubbing her back and whispering her name. She’d huff out a breath through her nose in annoyance. But was always stunning no matter what her mood was.
Sometimes I would pepper her with kisses on her cheeks and head. A slow smile would spread across her face while she pretended to still be sleeping.
She reaches out to put her hand to mine and places it on top. Her soft skin rubs on my rough skin. I resist the urge to wrap her hand in mine, pressing my lips to each knuckle, savoring the feel of her skin on my lips.
“Do you want me to go in with you? Help you break the news to your parents? Is August here?” I ask.
She shakes her head lazily. “I have no idea if he’s here or if my parents are even home.”
She lets out a sigh and looks toward the beautiful Cape-Cod-style home. The long porch showcases the white wicker furniture and powder-blue cushions. The light blue and purple hydrangeas overflow on the sides of the staircase that leads up to the front door.
“Shit,” she mutters under her breath and turns back to me. “I’m just so exhausted, Ro. I don’t know if I can deal with that right now. Maybe if I should just slip by and sneak into the guest house in the back.”
