Khatri and I shove down our disgust and clean him up just enough for his Divine to heal him. Luke protests weakly, well aware of the routine by now. But he’s going nowhere. He’ll be stuck here until we either forget he exists or accept what happened and move on.
I don’t notice when it changes, but with every slice of my scythe, my daughter’s tear-streaked face is replaced with Hazel’s.
Her lashes heavy with tears, she refuses to fall. Refusing my help. Refusing my love. Refusingme.
The helpless feeling inside me sharpens until it gets hard to see past it. Her refusal to accept our bond, her insistence on keeping us both miserable when we could be more. We could behappy.
There’s too much anger in me and nowhere to put it. I can’t help Nevaeh without dragging her into her past. I can’t help Hazel without going behind her back, digging into her past, and killing the man ruining her peace.
After two hours of torturing myself as much as Luke, I shove past the dungeon gates, breathing in the fresh air and spilling my frustration into the woods surrounding me.
My essence coils around me, whispering revenge, urging me to use my anger. I clench my fists, squeeze my eyes shut, and force the anger out like I can rip it from my chest and throw it at my feet.
“You’re not planning to go on a rampage and kill everyone, right?”
Anxo’s voice cuts through the haze. He stands far from the dungeon, like even the scent of his parents will taint him.
“How do you do it?” I ask, still breathing hard, the anger refusing to fade.
“How are you not spiraling? Her scars… I can’t stop seeing them. I can’t breathe when I think about how she got them.Every time I look at Nevaeh, I see the moments she needed me, and I wasn’t there.”
“Honestly? I don’t see them anymore.” Anxo laughs at my expression and pats my back until I remember how to breathe.
“The first few months, I felt exactly like you do right now. Her scars were all I could see. It used to hurt like they were burned into my skin, not hers. But I was failing her by letting her past hold that power over us.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Nevaeh fought so hard to turn those scars into strength. She made it out, Dean. She’s not just alive… she’sthriving. Don’t let her scars blind you to who she isnow.”
“I’m trying, but the guilt won’t stop eating at me. Nevaeh jokes that I was a helicopter parent before everything, but how good of a father was I if I couldn’t even stop a stranger from walking into my kingdom and taking the most precious thing in my life?”
“It wasn’t your fault, Dean. You didn’t know what Visha was planning.”
“But if I’d been a little more suspicious, I could’ve saved my Nevaeh a decade of pain.”
How do you live with ruining your daughter’s childhood?
“By that logic, Nevaeh shouldn’t have been so far away from you. Harvey should’ve fought harder to save them. I should’ve known my parents were behind it, and Akihiko and Henry should’ve suspected their fellow Horsemen.”
Anxo raises a brow when I grumble like a stubborn, illogical ass. Maybe I am.
“Dean, there are a thousand what-ifs, and most of them blame us for not being better, for not doing more. But none of them help ustoday. All we can do is stop looking at Harvey and Nevaeh like they’re broken and make sure they live the rest of their lives without reliving their pasts.”
Fuck he’s right. I can’t live in the past. I need to learn from it and make sure our future is safe and secure. No one is hurting my family again.
I don’t care if I have to cut down every hand that reaches for them.
9. Two sides of a coin
Hazel
Idon’t know why I keep coming here. He’s Dean’s horse. He should be the one dealing with this whiney, clingy animal, but Diamond is pissed at his rider and won’t let him get close. And because Dean can’t apologize to a horse properly, I’m the one paying the price.
After the last time he nearly bit off Dean’s pinky, he has wisely kept his distance. Coward.
Every time I pass the stalls, Diamond—the Grim Reaper’s supposedly terrifying horse—neighs so loud that I can’t ignore him.I gave in once to stop his pathetic whining, and now it’s a ritual he expects me to complete every other day.
At first, I just sat nearby so he’d stop terrorizing the other horses, but then the stupid horse headbutted me because I wouldn’t pat him.
I swear he’s just as annoying as Dean, if not more.
Diamond huffs, shoving his head against the stall like he’s threatening to break it if I don’t come closer.
