I never thought I’d trust someone to keep me safe when I don’t have the strength to do it myself. But Dean is the exception.
Every piece of my heart belongs to him.
32. Scars that won’t fade
Hazel
I’m standing outside the Horsemen castle.
Every time I try to step forward, something inside me screams to turn around and run.
“Are you going to stand there forever?” Nevaeh’s voice cuts through the chaos in my head, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
I can’t stop the guilt from creeping in after what happened last night.
She walks up until she’s right in front of me and scoffs when I refuse to meet her eyes.
I know I look angry, but the fire inside my chest won’t ease. It feels too big. Too heavy to hold. I’m afraid it’s going to swallow me.
“What are you so scared of?” She asks, point-blank.
“Everyone will finally see the disaster I’ve brought to their doorstep and want nothing to do with me.”My jaw aches from how hard I’m grinding my teeth.
Nevaeh sighs, dropping on the step and patting the space next to her.
“You know what I kept thinking after my trance broke last night?” I lower my head, bracing for the tongue lashing. “That maybe I shouldn’t have killed Visha.”
My head snaps up so fast that something clicks in my neck.
Nevaeh has never apologized for the darkness inside her. She fights her Divine every second to stay in control to keepherself and us safe. Visha spent ten years trying to break her, but Nevaeh always picked herself right back up and fought even harder.
Hearing her take the blame for something so far out of her control stops the storm raging inside my head.
“Visha warned me something was coming. Right before I killed her, she gave me a riddle. Now I know she was trying to warn me about Tiberius. She knew things about him we still don’t. And she was willing to help. But I was so blinded by revenge, I didn’t stop to think. Maybe none of this would be happening if I’d taken her prisoner instead.”
Horror twists in my gut. The thought of asking her not to do what was right just because it might’ve changed the future feels wrong.
She deserved that justice. No one gets to take that from her.
Nevaeh catches my reaction and smirks.
There it is. The real her.
Fuck. I should’ve known this was a setup to drag me out of my own head.
“You think I’m being stupid, don’t you?” She laughs when I nod, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “Visha got what she deserved. She died when it was her time. And Tiberius will too soon enough. None of this is on you, it’s that douchefucker’s fault.”
I laugh, the weight in my chest easing for the first time since last night.
“Now come inside. Everyone is waiting for you. Seiji and August are eating everything in sight, so please hurry up and save my kitchen.”
Nevaeh stands, but before she can walk away, I blurt out, “I’ll never be enough for him. I’ll always need Dean more than he needs me.”
Her head jerks back, brows pulling together. “And I’ll always need Angel more. That doesn’t mean I don’t give him everything I can. Maybe I’m not his safe place the way he’s mine, but that doesn’t mean I love him any less. Love isn’t 50-50, Hazel.”
I swallow hard, staring down at my boots to hide the sting in my eyes.
When I look up, Nevaeh is watching me with a soft smile. “Don’t be afraid to ask for more. We’ve both lived without much for too long. We deserve more. You deserve everything good in this world. And if Papa isn’t making you happy, you tell me, and I’ll set him straight.”
