Quietly shutting the door behind him, Anxo walks to our room with me on his broad shoulder. “Would you stop stealing my hoodies, sweetheart? I just bought this one.”
“Nope.”
As if he was already expecting my answer, a sharp sting on my bottom makes me gasp loudly. Did he just? He did not… Did he justspank me?
Carefully lowering me back on the sturdy ground once we are in his room, he disappears into his closet, leaving me in the middle of his room. I’m not sure how to feel about what just happened.
Another question for Seiji: should it feel as good as it did, or am I too far gone to save my humanity?
Angel comes back while I’m still reeling in and sits at the edge of his bed, opening his legs wide and gesturing for me to sit between them—on the floor.
“If this is a sex position, you have to wait another week because Seiji hasn’t covered that part yet.” Sitting down, I look up at him upside down and find him staring at me, frozen, with his mouth wide open.
“What?!”
I cringe when he chokes on air, “Yeah, he is teaching me about intimate stuff so I don’t look like a complete idiot when we dothings—you know.”
I’m a little embarrassed, but Seiji advised me to always have clear communication in the bedroom. Also, I’m not sure about this position. It doesn’t feel comfortable enough forsexy time.
I’m caught off guard when he gently removes the rubber band from my hair and frees the messy bun before combing through it.
“We are not doing anything intimate until you are completely comfortable with me. And tell me why Seiji is the one teaching you all that instead of your mate?” Brushing my hair takes longer than it should because my lazy ass didn’t want to tackle the waves tonight.
“The love interest isn’t supposed to do that, Angel. The best friend helps with these things. I’ve watched movies.Lots ofthem. And sometimes the guy teases the girl for being a 20-year-old virgin loser.” I mumble, a little ashamed to admit this, but Angel says we are in this forever, which means no secrets and good communication.
I’m so fucking mature.
“I would never make fun of you, sweetheart.Ever. And I don’t mind you asking Seiji because he’s your friend, but next time, come to me for intimate things, alright?” he gently kisses the top of my head, and I melt against him.
“If this is notsexy time, what are you doing with my hair?” Angel chuckles, placing another kiss on the side of my head. Sometimes, I think he laughs it off and kisses me instead of saying, ‘Nevaeh, you’re an idiot’.
“Braiding it. I know you leave your hair down because you don’t know what to do with it. This way, it won’t get in your face when you sleep.”
A lump forms in my throat until it’s hard to swallow. I throw my head back, and Angel swiftly ducks to kiss my pout. I love how he knows exactly what I need before I know it myself. Angel loves spoiling me and saying I deserve the entire universe until it’s practically engraved in my head.
As he braids my hair, which now falls just below my chest, Angel is careful not to miss any strands from the pattern.
I remember whensheused to cut random pieces of my hair. When they used my hair as a tool to control me, pulling on it to demand submission or running their filthy hands through it. I breathe out to ignore how I still recoil in disgust when I think about it. As much as I try to live here with them, every little thing threatens to pull me back into that familiar, chilling darkness.
I dread the day I will face her again. Constantly worry about her coming after August. Day or night, I’m persistently torturing myself by thinking of ways they would make my baby suffer like they mademesuffer.
I feel trapped in my own head between what I endured and what I will have to face in the future, and the torture is never- ending.My fears are a part of me now.
I’m physically safe, but my head is too tangled up to let myselfjust breathe. Some days I feel as if my only option is to surpass all the scheming and waiting around so I can take care of those bastards myself and finally fucking breathe.
“Where did you go, Nevaeh?” Angel’s soft voice brings me out of my head, and I startle when I find him sitting right in front of me on the floor.
“Huh?” I didn’t go anywhere. He was holding my hair the entire time, how could I?
“You’re physically here, but I’ve seen that dazed look enough times to know when you slip away. You sit there and observe everything with those dreadful eyes like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.” He scoots closer to grasp my cold hands between his warm ones.
“I hate it when you get so lost in your head that it hinders your moments with us. I hate how your mind tries to convince you this won’t last forever or that you don’t deserve this becauseyou do.” I feel the tears roll down my cheeks when Angel kisses my eyelids.
“I want you to be here all the time and not miss out on anything, living your life to the fullest. I’m willing to be the best version of myself for you, baby, to be the wall you can lean on. Someone you can always rely on. I promise to be there for however long I have in this world if you promise to hold on to me…to us. Let me be your tether to this world.”
I can’t hold back anymore. I smash our lips together, taking him by surprise, but he responds immediately. With his arms around my waist, Anxo ushers me to climb his lap, so I’m straddling him.
Angel stands without breaking our lips moulded together and sits on the bed where we stay like that, neither wanting to part ways.
