Angel stiffens against me. “You don’t have to sweetheart. I know how much you want to bury it and never look back. Don’t open your wounds because you think I need to see them to love them.”
Rubbing my cheek on his shoulder, I feel the wall around my heart crumble to dust.
I want this off my chest. I don’t want him to wonder why I can’t sleep through the night, why my balance is worse than terrible on my best days, or why he has to fuss over me not eating enough every day.
“I want you to know why I am the way I am. It hurts to explain in pieces or to leave you guessing. For selfish reasons, I want it off my chest so I never have to repeat it, and this way even if no one else does,you’ll always understand.”
He gives me a moment to pull myself together, even when I can feel his impatience. Angel is considerate enough that he will prefer being clueless for his whole life than hurting me by making me repeat the worst times of my life.
Seeing my hesitation, he turns me around, so I’m sitting between his legs with my back against his chest. His arms hold me protectively as he tilts my chin up. “Look up, sweetheart. Watch the stars you love and let it all out. Don’t worry about anything else. Lean on me, baby.”
The mess in my head calms down at his assurance, and I do what he asks. I lean on him. “Promise you won’t run away after I tell you everything?”
I’m joking.Maybe only a little bit.
“You can push me off this roof, and I’ll still find a way to come back to you.” Just like that, he made me forget why I was worrying in the first place. This is Anxo. My mate. If I can’t trust him to stick by me, what are we even doing here?
I clear my throat before I recite my horror story. Angel tightens his arms around me as if asking if I’m ready to rehashthose memories. To ease his worries, I kiss his jaw and nuzzle my cheek against his heart to steal some courage from him.
You’re not there anymore, they can’t take you back.
I hold on to my Angel’s arms around my waist and start spilling. “I was alone in the beginning. Complete isolation. They didn’t let me see Harvey formonthsand stuck me in a small concrete room with no windows. Fed me maybe once a week.”
For the first time in my life, I willingly replay the memories, selecting the ones I want to share so I can sum it up without going into too many details.
“When we were kids, we were shoved around and struck occasionally but that’s it. They mainly used us as the queen’s little helpers. We cleaned her chambers, served food—things like that. As we grew up, they moved to tougher methods… l-like physical punishments, keeping us awake for days and starving us to see who would snap first. The one time I lost control… it was a bloodbath, Angel. I don’t even remember most of it.”
With every word out of my mouth, Anxo gets quieter. He is holding me as if afraid that I would break if he didn't. He is the only one who will ever get this piece of me. I’ve never bared my soul like this and never will.
Especially not to Papa. I survived that cell, but forcing him to sit through tales of his daughter getting tortured is not something either of us will survive.
“They forced me to watch as they skinned other prisoners alive or burned them until there was nothing left. Visha thought if I knew what she could do, it would make me more compliant.It didn’t. Told her to shove her plans up her ass—she didn’t think I was funny.”
I stop with that because I might throw up if I give out more details. I wait to see if Angel wants to ask something, but when he doesn’t make a sound, I take a relieved breath—concluding my stay at theRoyale Coven Plaza.
When hot tears drop on my neck, I lean back into my Angel and hold him to me. Cupping the side of his face, I trace my fingers in his hair and just let himfeel.
He’s hurting for me. I want him to let it all out instead of asking him to stay strong and let his pain consume him. I had to school my emotions and expressions for a decade in fear of making things worse for myself, so I know how exhausting it can be to keep your composure at all times.
It’s quiet for a minute. Angel stays wrapped around me, placing kisses on my neck and squeezing me to death. The neck of my—hissweatshirt is soaked with his silent tears, and my chest burns, knowing I’m the reason behind them.
“On the bright side, I’m perfectly fine now, and you’re always following me around like my guardian Angel to ensure that.” I try to coax him gently.
Anxo finally lifts his head from my neck to turn me around in his lap. Those bewitching green eyes are puffy and red, lips in an adorable pout. His protective hold on me doesn’t give me much space to move—not that I want to.
Burying my fingers in his hair, I lean to kiss his forehead, grateful when he relaxes against me. Seeing the reaction from one kiss, I start peppering kisses all over his pretty face and he sniffs before snuggling closer.
“Feel better?” I lean back as far as he allows me to cup his face.
The other day, I mentioned to Hazel how Angel is always warm and cuddly—like my personal heater, and she said maybe it’s me who’s always cold and creepy—like a psychotic killer.
Yeah… that girl doesn’t do romance.
“Only a little. Maybe more kisses would help,” he says cheekily before pressing our lips together. Anxo leads the kiss, and before I know it, we are a mess of needy kisses and grabbyhands. Angel slowly lowers his hands to my ass before giving my cheeks a firm squeeze, which earns a breathy moan from me.
Woah. I think I should accept Seiji’s offer of sex education. I don’t want to be clueless and ruin oursexy timetogether.
I feel him softly nudge into my mind, and I don’t hesitate to let him in, but he doesn’t peek around or stay long. Angel simply strengthens our link and kisses my forehead once more. Even when he didn’t pry into my memories, I feel like he left a part of himself in my head and strengthened our bond with his trust in me. I have a window into his soul at my will, but all I want is to hear him talk about everything and anything instead of taking a shortcut.
