My mate stands behind me, rubbing my shoulders and clearing his throat. This is stupid. I should be the one comforting him sinceheis on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
When the man starts in my direction, I quickly step back on instinct. The way his face twists in raw hurt makes me regret that step instantly. My chest aches with every tear he wipes to regain some composure, but for some reason, I can’t take that step forward.
The man braves another step forward, and that’s when I realize I’m pressed against Angel tightly, making me strain my neck to see behind me. Seeing my panic, he turns me around in his arms before gesturing something behind me.
I close my eyes tightly and try to focus on the fact that I can’t see him anymore. He doesn’t even look the same for fucks sake. Why didn’t I think of that before? Of course, he wouldn’t look the same; it’s been a decade!
You’re crazy is peaking out, Nevaeh. Calm the fuck down.
Angel breaks my daze by kissing my forehead, “Hey, you’re okay, sweetheart. Take a deep breath for me. Can you do that?” Nodding aggressively, I focus on what Angel is asking.
Only after a few deep breaths do I feel like I’m not standing on the edge of panic. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I suddenly feeling like this?
“You know him. No need to be cautious, baby, I promise.”
But do I really?
I think I’m going to pass out. What the fuck is happening to me? Where did this sudden rush of fear come from?
Sorting my thoughts as much as possible, I grab Angel’s collar and stand on my toes to whisper in his ear. His heart skips beneath my palm when he hears what I say. Cupping my face, he kisses my forehead again before turning back to face everyone.
The man is clutching the back of a chair to restrain himself from instinctively approaching me. I appreciate the thought.
My stomach bottoms out before Angel even asks my question, but there’s no way I can find the strength to ask myself.
“Did you know we found Nevaeh?”
The man’s face crumbles with hurt as if he is cursing himself for not knowing sooner. “No. I heard about the war, and that The Tetrad kingdom was involved, so I came to help.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he admits, “But I forgot to ask thewhenpart.”
I snicker quietly behind Angel’s shoulder, but the man hears me perfectly fine. His desperate eyes find me, lips quivering up the tiniest bit. That’s so like him. He came running to join a war but didn’t askwhat it was about, who was involvedor evenwhen it was happening.
Angel bites his bottom lip to hide his amusement, but my next whisper makes him stiffen and grab my hand, clutching the back of his shirt.
“Do you plan on leaving again?”
“Never,” the man croaks immediately.
I breathe out a relieved sigh. I’m so damn tired of losing and rebuilding myself every time someone leaves. No matter how selfish and cruel it might sound, I have to protect myself. If he’s going to leave again and not look back, I don’t want to lower my defenses for him.
I never imagined that my paranoia would hinder my first meeting with him one day, but when your fears are louder than you, there is no hiding from them.
I have lived with these fears for years, and now, as I watch some of them unfold, I just want to crawl back into my head where I won’t have to hear him say he doesn’t want me anymore.
What would he think of me if he knew everything I’d done to survive? What if he is only here for Grace and his kingdom, not for the long-lost daughter? He probably doesn’t even remember me. Can I handle him going through life like I never existed?
My worries, questions and fears start to overwhelm me to the point I don’t notice him until I’m crushed into a hug strong enough to crush my bones.
Papa. My papa.
The hug is tight to the point of suffocating, and it’s a good thing between Angel and Harvey, I’m used to being squished by giant men regularly.
Papa wraps his arms around my shoulders and holds me protectively. I don’t realize I’m holding him with the same force until my arms start to shake and my knees nearly give out.
Sobbing like a child reuniting with their parents after getting lost in a crowd, I bury my face in his chest and let him support me while I empty a decade’s worth of longing for my father’s embrace.
I’ve spent countless nights filled to the brim with doubts that my family abandoned me. Fear that no one wanted me enough to save me from those monsters. But here I am, in my father’s arms, as he continues apologizing and thanking the universe for bringing me back to him.
I did most of the work, but sure, Papa, let’s thank theuniverse.
