I’m a grade-A dumbass.
“I screwed up.” Her hands drop the bowl she's washing at my sudden acceptance. “I screwed up royally and broke your trust. I purposely made you feel unwanted and discarded like you meant nothing to me, but you have to know the truth—the truth that my entire existence craves for you, sweetheart.”
Dropping the bags and flowers on the sofa, I carefully place the fries on top of it all. Dropping her fries in the middle of an apology would only make her want to kick me out even more, and I can’t afford that.
Nevaeh leans against the counter, and I see how hard it is for her to hear me out. With every word, I take small steps to her and look for signs that she wants me to stop.
“It scared me to death when you were willing to sacrifice yourself for us. I’ve been terrified of losing you since the day we met becauseI knew… I knew if anything happened to you, I won’t survive. My life only means something as long asyou’rein it.”
My planned apology goes down the drain the second I set my eyes on my beautiful girl. My brain has stopped working entirely, and I’m leading with my heart now, hoping to prove to her how sorry I am and how much I want her back.
“Remember the nurse you never liked? And Mason? They were both part of this massive coup. Several high-ranking warriors and elders planned to k—they wanted you out of the way. I found out about it the night you got hurt.”
Nevaeh looks directly into my eyes for the first time since I arrived. The moment our eyes meet, I want nothing more than to trap her in my arms and let her curse me out for eternity if that will make her stay and forgive me.
When my sweetheart starts breathing fire, I realize I probably shouldn’t have brought up Mason or the nurse. I can almost see how she plans totalkto them when she returns home.
Fates, I hope her fire won’t divert to me.
“That night, Hazel and I discovered the portal had been forced to collapse from inside the kingdom. Then we were forced into that council meeting, and suddenly it all made sense; why we kept getting ambushed and blindsided. They were behind everything, the reason why I almost—almost lost you.”
I twist the rings on my fingers like she does when nervous. Fates help me today, and I’ll let her twist my fingers until they break if she wants. I’ll do anything to hold her hand again.
“When we came back, I couldn’t think straight. There were so many questions, and I was scared out of my mind thinking of all the ways I could lose you. I didn’t know who to trust, and dozens of warriors, even among higher ranks, were working against us, and I just… I couldn’t breathe. I kept seeing you surrounded by people who wanted to hurt you.”
Her hand reaches out to comfort me but then retracts, thinking better of it.Ouch again.
“Then the council proposed sending you away, and I jumped on it. How could I ever forgive myself for selfishly keeping you beside me, in harm’s way when—”
My tongue freezes right before I can come out and say it. What if she decides to end us because of this? Why would she want to be with me when I’m related to someone like my parents?
“When my parents were the ones who wanted you dead. Nevaeh… they helped Visha.Nine years ago. ”
She inhales sharply. Taking her eyes off me, she stares at the countertop. I wait for her to kick me out. To yell. To hold me accountable for what my parents did, for not seeing it sooner.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until her pinkie brushes against mine. The simple initiative boosts my confidence, and I step behind her. I give her a chance to unwind her pinkie and shove me away, but when she doesn’t, I cautiously wrap my arms around her middle and pull her into me.
“They’re alive?”
I stop breathing altogether, but when Nevaeh looks over her shoulder to assure me, I realize the rage in her question isn’t directed at me. It’s not for me. It’s forthem. She’s not boxing me in their category.
“Yes.”
“Okay.”That’s it?
The moment Nevaeh leans back into me, my vision blurs with tears, but I don’t remove my arms from where they belong. “I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for all those stupid and untrue things I said that day, sweetheart. I swear it broke me just the same having to hurt you like that,” I croak.
Nuzzling her neck, I plant small kisses all over the slope of her neck before I miss the opportunity. I relish the sensation of having her in my arms once again.
Fates missed her. I missed holding my sweetheart.
“You’re infuriating me, Anxo.” The words sober me up, and I wince internally at her rising temper. I convince myself that it’s a good thing she’s angry. It will be good for her to release some of this pent-up anger.
I’ll gladly let her get it out of her system now than her holding it against me for days, or fate forbidmonths.
“I don’t want your apology. I don’t want logical explanations or how you did it for me. I want you to have the decency to say more hurtful things, so I can keep being angry b-because… because I don’t want to forgive you yet.”
My whole body stills. My arms tighten around her; I refuse to be apart any longer. I’m not leaving her.Not today, not ever again.Not happening.
