“I’ll come with—” I stop Seiji and step back.
“No. We’ll figure something out. You need to stay where I don’t have to worry about your safety, too.”
I can see the worry on their faces. Grace hasn’t stopped crying since I walked into this room, but I need to leave now. The staring, snickering and underhanded comments are getting harder to ignore, not to mention how my soul shatters with every glare from Anxo.
“I’ll take you to the portal,” Anxo offers, but Seiji protests quickly.
“The fuck you will.”
“Only aHorsemancan open them after collapsing yesterday, so it’s either me or…”
“I’ll do it.” Akihiko Nakaya, Horseman Famine strides to me. I didn’t notice him before but I was too busy dying inside, so what do I know. I search him for any signs of disappointment or hatred, but there’s only regret. For what? I’m not in a state to guess.
I nod in answer. At this point, I will do anything to be as far from Anxo as possible. I just want this to be over.
I hug Grace one last time, trying to stay strong when she breaks down on my shoulder. Before I can say goodbye to him, Seiji runs off, making me sigh.
Grabbing the smaller suitcase with August’s things, I walk him beside me. A last watery smile over my shoulder worries me Grace might pass out.
Running to me, Grace grabs my arm frantically.
Please, just let me leave already.
“You didn’t take your bag.” In her panic, she goes to wheel the larger suitcase, but I stop her by placing my hand over hers.
“I came here with nothing, and I’ll leave the same way.” The only reason I’m not leaving behind August’s bag is because there’s no way I will let my pride come before his comfort.
Suddenly August breaks free from my hold and runs to Anxo. My breath falters, and terror grips me. My essence flies along August to shield my little boy, not knowing how the Horseman would react. It takes August a mere second to put his toy near Anxo’s feet and run back to me, but that second is enough for me to panic.
A flash of hurt passes through Anxo’s eyes. Instead of the toy near his feet, he stares at my Divine circling August like it has offended him.
The realization that it took an hour to shatter the trust it took us months to build makes me stagger before I steady myself.
The emotion is gone as fast as it broke through Anxo’s defenses, and the version of him that broke my heart and family shows his face again. I feel a pinch in my head that grows into a throb the farther I walk, but I squeeze my eyes shut and wait until it subsides.
Once we’re out of the castle, I don’t look at anyone or anywhere, just follow the Horseman in front of me to the closest portal.
When I think I can finally let go, a small hand squeezes mine, telling me there’s a long way to go before I can fall apart without scaring my boy.
I’m surprised when the portal opens to a house in the middle of the woods. Papa Nakaya tells me it’s Harvey’s old house from when he lived in the human realm, and he haspermittedme to use it until I find something permanent for myself.How generous.
I would’ve felt something other than numb, but the ache in my chest from this morning has dulled everything to the point I don’t feel anything. What would I even say to a man who calls himself my best friend yet turned his back on me?
Despite Harvey’s choices, I’m grateful for the house. I’m in no shape to search for a safe place while pushing my grief deep within me so my son doesn’t suffer.
Besides giving me a key, Papa Nakaya doesn’t stay longer, and I’m glad for it. When he reaches for a hug, I step away and walk into the house without looking back, slamming the door to that life shut behind me.
I’m always prepared to be left alone, so what happened is heartbreaking but not surprising. I guess our fears are nothing but premonitions of our worst times to come because they were right after all. The voice in my head knew I would lose him. It kept warning me, but I was too happy to it any attention.
And now, the person I thought loved me has snatched my entire world from under me, leaving me with nothing. Anxo has successfully ruined me enough to never trust anyone again.
How naïve of me to think I could have it all.
CHAPTER 37
No that’s not crying you hear
Nevaeh
