“On my life.” I held his gaze steadily, refusing to let my eyes waver even as my thoughts churned with all the dangers I’d witnessed during my brief time there. But I wasn’t about to burden him with those fears, not when he’d just learned she was alive. I’d let him have this moment of relief before reality came crashing back down.
Nico released me abruptly, slumping against the wall. He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent, dry sobs.
I shifted closer and placed my remaining hand on his shoulder. The contact felt inadequate for the magnitude of what he was feeling. “She’s resourceful. If anyone can survive there, it’s her.”
“Valentino said Val watched her die and did nothing.” His voice was muffled behind his palms.
“Val loves her.” Of that, I was certain. He looked at her with barely concealed devotion. It’s what had originally made me want to scratch her eyes out. “We need to figure out what his role is in this.”
“His role?” Nico dropped his hands, revealing eyes that had shifted from grief-stricken to blazing with renewed fury. “His role is a fucking traitor.”
Val was calculating, but I wasn’t ready to condemn him completely, despite the evidence.
“Or maybe there’s something more happening.”
“I don’t understand your loyalty. He’s a vampire. They think of no one except themselves.”
My jaw tightened, a familiar defensiveness rising in my chest. How many times had I heard variations of this sentiment? How many demons had looked at me with that same mixture of confusion and disdain when they saw my loyalty to a vampire?
For a while, I let myself believe it was my curse, but in time, I realized it was deeper than that.
“You wouldn’t understand.” I turned my gaze away from Nico’s penetrating stare, focusing instead on the rough stone wall across from us. The torchlight flickered, casting dancing shadows across the room.
“Try me.” He waited for more, expecting me to elaborate or defend myself.
I rarely spoke of my past, keeping the memories locked away where they couldn’t hurt me anymore. I’d buried my feelings so deep I’d convinced myself they’d stopped existing.
My throat tightened, and I swallowed against the uncomfortable sensation. This was dangerous territory. These weren’t thoughts I allowed myself to have. I’d learned long ago that survival meant keeping the past exactly where it belonged.
“I’m an alpha.” The words sounded strange after so many years left unsaid. “The panthers have been led by my bloodline much like Inferna had been ruled by the Lunas.”
“When the curse happened, everything changed. My family was no longer respected or strong enough to lead our kind. Instead of training to become the leader that my soul knows I was born to be, I was trained to live my life with a curse and be an outsider.”
Nico nodded once; if anyone would understand the life of an outsider, it was him.
“Val was the first person who looked past my curse. He never saw me as a weapon or a burden. He looked at me with interest rather than pity. To him, I wasn’t the failed alpha whose bloodline was doomed. I was me. Amari. I’d forgotten what that felt like until him.”
We sat in silence, and I thought the conversation was over, but then he gestured to my arm. “And that’s worth your arm?”
“My loyalty isn’t conditional.” The truth of it resonated deep within my bones. “Even if he betrayed us, I need to know why before I withdraw it.”
A flicker of respect crossed his features. “I’d give anything and everything to Sammy, no matter what.”
“Then you understand why I can’t condemn him yet.”
He sighed as if it pained him, then nodded.
For the first time, I felt a connection with Nico that went beyond mutual distrust. We were both bound by loyalty to someone who mattered to us more than ourselves.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
SAMARA
Iclung to the handle above my head as the carriage Raphael had called a sports car practically flew up a hill at speeds that should have been impossible without magic.
My stomach lurched with every turn, threatening to expel the few sips of poison I’d forced down at the coffee shop. The drink had been sweet, yes, but it had also made my brain hurt like someone was dancing on the inside of my skull while simultaneously squeezing it.
And the flavors? Absolutely revolting.
