"What was I supposed to do?" The words come out desperate, pleading. "You would have said no. You would have walked away?—"
"Yes." The word is brutal in its honesty. "I would have said no. Because you're Romeo's sister and the don's daughter, and touching you would be a betrayal of everything I've built my life on. But that should have been my choice to make. Not yours."
"I'm sorry." I reach for him, but he steps back, putting distance between us. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just—I wanted you so badly, and I didn't know how else?—"
"Well, congratulations." He spreads his arms wide, the gesture mocking. "You got exactly what you were afraid of. I do hate you. I hate what you've done. I hate that you took awaymy choice. I hate that you made me complicit in betraying the people I love. I hate that every moment we shared was built on lies."
"The way I feel about you isn't a lie?—"
"I don't care how you feel. I don't care about your explanations or your excuses or your desperate attempts to make this okay. Because it's not okay. It will never be okay."
I'm crying so hard now I can barely see him through the tears. "What about the baby? We need to talk about?—"
"There's nothing to talk about." He shakes his head and takes a step back. "You need to leave. I need to figure out how to handle this. How to tell Romeo."
"No." My voice rises, panicked. "You can't tell Romeo. He'll?—"
"He'll what?" Luca turns back to look at me, and I see something in his eyes that truly frightens me. Something cold and dangerous and absolutely unforgiving. "He'll kill me? Is that what you were going to say?"
"Yes." I take a step toward him, my hands outstretched. "He'll kill you. You know he will. You can't?—"
"Maybe that would be better." The words sound like they’re meant to hurt. "Maybe that would be better than living with what you've done to me."
I actually stagger, my hand going to my chest like I can hold my heart together through sheer force of will. "You don't mean that?—"
"Don't I?" He's looking at me like I'm a stranger. "You've destroyed everything, Giulia. My relationship with Romeo. My position in the family. My ability to trust anyone ever again. Maybe death would be preferable to living with that."
"Please." I'm begging now, completely shameless in my desperation. "Please don't tell him. We can figure this out. We can?—"
"There is no 'we.’ There never was." He opens the door. "And the sooner you accept that, the better."
"Luca—"
"Leave." The word is a command. "Go home. Go back to your father's house. Go back to planning your wedding to Alessandro. I don't care. Just get away from me."
"What about the baby?" The question comes out broken, desperate. He stops and looks at me, and for just a moment, I see him falter.
"I don't know," he says finally. "I don't know what happens with the baby. I don't know how to be a father to a child whose mother I can't stand to look at."
“I—” He's going to tell Romeo. The thought hits me like ice water, shocking me out of my paralysis. He's going to tell Romeo, and Romeo is going to kill him, and it will be my fault. All of it will be my fault.
I grab my things and stumble out of the room, through the club, past the people dancing and drinking and living their lives like the world isn't ending. The bouncer at the door gives me a concerned look, but I push past him, out into the night air.What have I done?
I destroyed everything. I took the one good thing in my life—the one person who made me feel alive—and I destroyed it with my lies and my manipulation and my desperate need to have something that was mine.
And now he hates me.
Now he's going to tell Romeo, and Romeo is going to kill him, and I'm going to lose him forever.
15
LUCA
The private room feels smaller after she leaves, the walls pressing in with the weight of everything that just happened. I stand in the center of it, my hands still clenched into fists at my sides, and try to remember how to breathe.
The mechanics of it should be simple, but my chest is so tight it feels like someone's wrapped steel bands around my ribs and is slowly, methodically tightening them until something breaks.
Valentina was Giulia.
