Bo contemplates this for a moment, and I think he’s coming around to the idea of returning right up to the moment Tonya tosses the burgers on the metal rack, causing flames to flare up around them.
“I’ll cook ’em for longer. They’ll be fine,” she says, as Bo gives us a sympathetic smile. And we both know it’s too late. There’s nothing to do now but endure.
Twenty minutes later an eager line forms in front of the tables as ravenous hands reach for paper plates. Little do they know that there is nothing very tasty waiting for them. I wait for Mira to get in line, before jumping in myself. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, fine, but the least I can do is save her from an evening of food poisoning.
Adrian is ahead of her, placing a blackened burger on his plate. “Maybe I could salvage it with ketchup.”
“I don’t see any condiments,” Vanessa adds, not even bothering to pick up a plate.
“I might have some,” Mira announces, reaching into the side pocket of her backpack, pulling out packets of hot sauce and honey mustard.
“Do wedding clients typically need sauces?” Adrian asks.
“Not yet, but they’ve come in handy for me a time or two when all there is to eat is a plain turkey sandwich,” she replies, as Adrian takes the assortment from her.
“I doubt drenching it in sauce is going to be enough to save this meal,” I say, causing Mira’s eyes to dart towards me.
“Maybe I’ll just stick to the sides,” Adrian says. “There’s no way to fuck up baked beans, right?” he says, shoveling a forkful of gelatinous brown sludge into his mouth with a disgusted grimace before putting it back onto his plate. “Oof. I was wrong.”
“Are you not eating?” Tonya asks, as Mira grabs a lonely hamburger bun and nothing else.
“I’m a vegan,” Mira says, taking a bite of her bun and adding another to her plate. Considering I’ve seen her take down manycarne asadatacos at the bar, I know that this is her way of being polite.
Growing up, my dad always taught me that what makes a great leader is the ability to anticipate others’ needs. And through our many conversations Mira told me all the horror stories about eating at work: the plates of green beans she consumed even though she hated them, eating from the dregs of the buffet bowls, or having her plate get thrown in the trash before she had a chance to take a single bite. It was one of the reasons I always ordered takeout to the bar on days she had a photoshoot, ensuring she didn’t go to bed hungry, and I want to be that guy again.
“Me too,” Adrian says, dumping his plate into the plastic trash bag.
“What about you?” Tonya asks, eyeing me suspiciously. “You a friend of PETA too?”
But my mind is spinning too quickly to answer her, as I figure out a way not only to save this disaster of a dinner but to make a grand gesture to Mira.
I’ve not been confident in many things in my life, but living off the land is one area where I’ve earned my fair share of gold stars from an early age. Foraging, hunting, and cooking meals in the wild is my specialty. Right now, my best option is to fish. Making my way into the tree line, I scout for the perfect limbs to use for my makeshift rod.
“If you’re planning on beating us out of our misery, I’ll volunteer as tribute,” Adrian replies, chewing on a piece of bread.
“As much as I appreciate your sacrifice, I’m trying to find us some real food,” I say, bending a branch against my knee to check for flexibility.
“Thank God,” he breathes. “I’ve eaten a lot of sketchy things in my life, but this might be hitting my threshold.”
The branch is too dry, snapping easily. I move into the small patch of forest.
“So, are we like foraging for mushrooms? Or ...”
“I’m trying to catch us some fish,” I explain, and snap another stick.
“Are you going to spear them like the guys onNaked and Afraid?” Adrian asks excitedly.
“Unlike Derrick, I’ll be keeping my clothes on,” I reply, peeking over my shoulder to see if Mira is still paying attention to his antics. Thankfully, she’s lying with her head on her backpack, eyes closed, ignoring him entirely. “If you really want to know, I’m making sure that the branch I choose has enough flexibility to withstand the weight of the fish and the tension of the string,” I explain, as I find a branch that passes my test.
“But, like, it takes more than a stick, right?”
Adrian’s correct. It does take more than a stick. And it’s then that I remember my wilderness bag, with all the items I need to finish my project, is sitting in the back of the Jeep. I left it there in hopes of going to the park. But from our many talks at the bar, Iknow that the only other person who would have the items I need is ... Mira.
A part of me considers asking Adrian to relay my message, but if I’m going to prove myself to her, I have to step up.
She’s relaxed, laughing at something Vanessa has said as she bathes in the sun. She’s still in her life jacket, a godsend considering I can see the bra she’s wearing peeking through the side of the waterlogged fabric. If she took it off now, my thoughts would practically be broadcasted to the entire group in these shorts.
Get it together, man, I argue with myself, as I make my way towards her.
