“This is a bad idea Chloe.” Next to me, Keeley reached for my hand and her fingers squeezed mine. “It isn’t safe.”
Resting my forehead against the smoky tinted glass, I gazed out at the city that rose up around us. It had been months since I had been in London. Six of them, in fact, but it felt just like yesterday. Everything looked exactly the same, right down to the empty, almost expressionless looks on everyone’s faces.
My face wasn’t expressionless, though. It was full of misery. Tears fell silently down my cheeks and I had given up hours ago trying to hide them, so I just let them lie against my face now.
He was dead.
Ghost was gone and I would never see him again.
The dark car slowed into traffic, and I sucked in another breath. We were almost there now, and I wasn’t ready. Even Keeley was giving me a way out. I didn’t have to go to his funeral. I could stay in the car, safe and secluded, and not have to face what was waiting for me out there.
But I couldn’t do that. I owed it to Ghost. He had done his best for me and I wanted to say goodbye. He deserved that much after all he had done for me. I had a good life now. Not perfect, but comfortable, and I was as happy as someone like me could ever be.
I had a job; I had a home, and I even had a few friends like Keeley and Gio. And I had… My hand went to the curve of my stomach and I stroked across it.
“I have to do this, Keeley. I hope you both can understand that?” I let my eyes dart between the two of them. Keeley remained silent, but Gio nodded.
“Just stay with us, OK? Never out of my sight. I think Ghost would haunt me forever if I let anything happen to you on the day he is buried.” Gio’s eyes darkened. “And stay away from the Sons. It would be better if they didn’t see you here. By all accounts, you aren’t their favourite person right now.” He shook his head. “Sometimes bikers are the thickest sons of bitches in the world. But just ignore them. And stay next to me or Keeley.”
“You have men watching?” I couldn’t help but ask. It was a silly question. Of course he did. He always had people watching Keeley to make sure she was safe. He loved her.
I smiled sadly. What they had was special. But it was something I was never going to have. I might have had a chance with Pocket, but not now.
I tensed at the thought of his name. I tried not to think of him at all because it was just too painful. We could have had something so real if I had been brave enough to stay.
I should have at least told him what was going on — been honest with him from the start. I should have been honest with all of them, but especially him.
Because they all hated me now. I knew from Keeley what the rumours were.
“We are here.” Gio said quietly, and it was only then that I realised the car had stopped. I had been too caught up in my own head to see what was right outside the tinted window.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Chloe?” Another squeeze of my fingers and I nodded.
“Yeah, I need to,” I said bravely. But I wasn’t feeling brave, though. I was dreading this. It wasn’t just saying goodbye to Ghost, it was the possibility of seeinghimthat clenched my muscles and made it impossible to move for a second.
I would probably say goodbye to two people today because I doubted I would ever see Pocket again either.
“Let’s get this done, then.” Gio swung open the car door, not waiting for his driver to do it, and stepped out. Reaching back inside, he helped his wife out first and then me.
Rain instantly pelted me in the face but after the warm confines of the car it was so welcome. I lifted my face to it.
“Stay close. And to be clear — we are just here to pay our respects. We won’t be going to the wake. Here for the burial and nothing more.” Gio’s eyes met mine. “Is that understood?”
“Yeah. I want to go home as quickly as possible as well.” And I did. I might need to do this, but that didn’t mean I would enjoy it. “I don’t feel that great.”
They exchanged looks, but didn’t say a word. I had been feeling like this for months, so it was nothing new, but I knew they were worried. They seemed to have taken me under their wing in a way that not even Ghost could have foretold.
It was nice having friends. People who were my age, well, sort of, and knew my history. Gio and Keeley accepted me for me.
I had taken two steps onto the gravel when the roar of a motorcycle reached my ears. That wasn’t surprising. Ghost was president of the London chapter of the Savage Sons after all, but for some reason, watching the line of massive bikes pulling through the arched gates of the cemetery was a shock.
The bike in the front stopped dead in front of me. The others pulled around it.
Slowly, I lifted my eyes to meet the dark ones that were staring at me from above the balaclava that covered the lower part of his face. Not that I needed to see his face to know who it was.
My heart skipped a beat and my stomach lurched upwards as he tugged down the cloth wrapped around his mouth and for a second, I thought he was going to smile at me. Maybe even say hi.
My eyes took Pocket in. He hadn’t changed much. His dark beard was a little longer, and he looked bigger, if that was even possible, but his face was harder.
