I knew he was out in the hallway. He never left. And I needed him, but I just couldn't face him.
Fang might have thought I blamed him, but it couldn't have been further from the truth. He was my hero. I just couldn't bear to see the look of disgust in his eyes when he finally saw me again.
The surgeons had done a good job patching me up, but I would wear the scars for the rest of my life unless I had plastic surgery. Great angry red scars criss-crossed my body. I felt like Frankenstein’s monster, patched together out of parts, not even really a person.
But the scars on the outside were absolutely nothing to those on the inside.
Fang wanted a future, that much I’d gleaned from our time together. I knew he’d want a future with children and grandchildren. He wanted it with me.
But I could no longer give him any of that.
The doctors said there was still a chance, that nothing was for certain until I was fully healed, but I knew the truth. I felt it.
The things Melanie had done with her knife…
A single tear slipped down my cheek.
“Baby girl?” My dad was suddenly there, his fingers wiping up the tears. “Are you in pain? Shall I get the nurse?”
Sadly, I shook my head. “No, I'm not in any pain, Dad.” Reaching for his hand, I squeezed his fingers. He had barely left my side since he had arrived. Guilt was written across his face every time he looked at me. I wanted to tell him not to feel guilty, that he wasn’t to know. But just like I couldn't speak to Fang, I couldn't open up to my father either.
My misery was mine and mine alone.
“I’m fine,” I lied, dropping his hand.
“I can take you home soon, Dan…” he stopped and smiled, “Gypsy. I have the best doctors and nurses in the country ready to…”
I cut him off. “No.” His words filled me with terror. I didn’t want to go home, back to the city where this whole nightmare had begun. “I want to stay here. This is my home.” My eyes flicked towards the partially open door. I knew Fang was out there somewhere.
“But...”
“I’m staying here.”
A line appeared between my father’s eyebrows, making him look older. “Ok, my sweet girl, but if that’s the case, don’t you think it’s about time you spoke to your young man?” Over and over again, he smoothed my hair back from my face. It was something he hadn’t done since I was a child, and I nuzzled into his touch. “He hasn’t left the hospital in days.”
Searching his face, I frowned. “I didn’t think you would approve.”
“He might not be who I would have picked out for you, but it’s clear that he loves you. And what more can a father ask than that? The question is whether you feel the same way.”
I pondered his words for a second before answering. “Yeah, I think... No, I know I do.”
My father pressed his lips to my forehead. “Then maybe it’s time you told him. Maybe it’s time you were honest with him.”
Yeah, maybe it was.
It was going to be the hardest conversation of my life though.
* * *
“Hey, Sunflower.”Fang closed the door softly behind him, and his face wary as he took me in. He hovered as far away as he could, almost like he wasn’t sure if I could stand him being near me.
I wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I sat up with my arms locked to my side on the hard hospital bed.
“Hi.” I wanted to scream at myself to stop being so cold and distant. “My...” Finally, I lifted my eyes to meet his. Dad was right, Fang looked tired. Dark smudges made his eyes seem sunken, and his beard was unkempt.
He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.
“You can sit down, you know.” The distance between us was bothering me. It might only have been a few feet, but it seemed like miles. And the longer he stood by the door staring at me with his soulful brown eyes, the further away he seemed.
