I kissed her back, putting all my feelings into it. Everything I had said was the truth. I did see her in my future.
Something warm and wet dampened my cheek and I pulled away sharply. My finger moved to catch the tears as they fell from her glossy eyes. “Darcie, why are you crying?” I didn’t understand her tears, what I had just said should make her happy, not sad.
“I’m just so happy that I met you, Havoc.”
Something in her words made my breath catch in my throat. “Why does it sound like you are saying goodbye Darcie?”
In answer she pulled me down on top of her, her lips hungry against mine. Her kiss was desperate. Wet lips, wet skin from her tears, but I was lost in her all the same. I might not know the reason for her tears but if she needed me to kiss her to make it better, even for a little while, then that’s what I would do.
“Havoc, I need you.” Her trembling fingers pushed up my shirt, skimming over the muscles of my back.
“I need you as well.” There might come a day when I didn’t want to get her naked but I couldn’t imagine it. And it definitely wasn’t today.
With practised ease, I stripped her from her clothes, taking my time about it. There was something needy in the way she looked up at me, in the way her hands and lips trailed over my skin. It was almost like she was trying to memorise every inch of me.
“Slow down baby.” I caught her wrists again, bringing each of her small fists up to my mouth so I could kiss her knuckles. “You don’t need to be in such a rush…what is it?”
Darcie’s face turned away from me.
It hit me then. “Is this a goodbye fuck Darcie?”
She didn’t answer me. But then again she didn’t need to. I stood up so suddenly she cried out as cold air washed over her almost naked body.
“Fuck Darcie, you’re leaving aren’t you? Even after everything I just said…” I felt like a fool. I had opened up to her, put myself on the line and she was going anyway.
“I don’t want to.” Slowly she sat up, her arms coming up to cross over her chest. Like she suddenly couldn’t stand being naked around me.
Heavily I sat by her side. “Then don’t. Give us a chance. I know you’re scared. I am too. But when all of this shit blows over things will be better. I promise.”
“I’m just not...I don’t think I am cut out for this life Havoc. I can never thank you enough for everything you have done to help me but...” She wiped angrily at her tear-filled eyes.
I couldn’t stand to hear another word. “But? But what? You don’t like me enough to try? Or was I just a convenient fuck to get revenge on my brother?” Angrily I stood, dragging a dirty shirt from the floor over my head.
“Havoc?” The hand she reached out to me fell to her side as I stepped away, heading towards the door. I couldn’t stand to listen to another word out of her mouth. I needed some time to cool down.
She was being honest with me, I should respect that, but all I could feel was pain. Fang was right, women were just too much trouble. They caused nothing but heartache and pain. And me being a stupid fool had let some woman who had no place in my world into my heart.
I needed to feel the wind on my face. To let my bike eat up some miles. Once I had calmed down we would be able to talk properly.
“I’ll see you later Darcie. We will talk later when I am calmer.” I didn’t look back as I walked away but I knew she was staring at my back and I knew she was crying.
It killed me walking away from her. But I had a feeling her ending things now without even trying would be worse.
***
I had gone maybe thirty miles when I realised what a stupid fool I had been. My throat was dry as I turned the bike in the middle of the road and started heading back. Something was wrong, I could feel it. Some prickly sixth sense that told me I needed to get back to the house, and quickly.
A familiar truck sat in my driveway when I finally did.
“Maggie?” Tugging down the bandanna from around my mouth I called to my grandmother. “What are you doing here? Darcie is home and…” I fell silent at the look on her face. Sympathy. That’s what I was seeing. Running my hand through my beard I froze. “She’s gone hasn’t she?” That was what I was feeling, the reason for the lost, sinking feeling that had made me turn around and head back. It was because she was leaving.
“I tried to ring but your phone went straight to the answerphone.”
I nodded, I had left my phone on the bed when I had stormed out. “I left it behind. How did you know?” Wearily I walked past her, keys in hand to unlock the door.
“She left a note...what are you doing Havoc?” She followed me into the house, her look judgemental as I headed straight towards the liquor cabinet. “She can’t have that much of a head start on you.”
I shrugged. How could I explain it to her when I didn’t even understand it myself?
