“So, apparently, they don’t even buy cream cheese. Strange, if you ask me,” I overhear Frankie moan to my kinky friend.
“Frankie, why are you here? Please, good god put on some clothes then come back for this discussion,” I ask of him with my hand stretched out, trying to cover up his bits, but to no avail.
It was like this at work with him as well.
“Ah, morning, little dancer. You know, I was just asking your lover about why there’s no cream cheese. You have bagels though…” he trails off as I storm towards him, taking him by the shoulders and marching him back to the hallway.
“I don’t know why you are here, but I want you dressed before I find out. Freddie, stop laughing, I can see you,” I berate him as he giggles into his Weetabix. With a no shits given laugh, Frankie saunters off to find his clothes at last.
Five minutes later and Frankie is back wearing his outfit from work last night with a timid-looking Christian in tow.
“Happy?”
“Yes, and as a rule that I didn’t know I needed to have in my home, please don’t be naked when you visit Frankie,” I remind him, though my eyes are still trained on Christian, who looks severely uncomfortable. Okay, time to end this circus that I have woken up to.
As if sensing where things are going, Freddie hops down from his stool and puts his dishes in the washer before leaving, only calling out goodbye once his trainers are on and the door is half closed behind him. One down, one to go.
“Frankie, lovely seeing you, but I would like to have breakfast with my brother since he only just got here, and I haven’t seen him in so long.”
Frankie seems to finally understand. Despite his inability to wear clothes in other people’s homes, he is a lovely guy and a close friend to me these days.
“Okay, kid, I get it. I’m leaving. Christian, don’t be a stranger to the club, text me,” he whispers close to my brother with a squeeze to his ass before leaving.
Christian doesn’t seem to know where to look, so despite the questions I have circling my brain such as, YOU’RE GAY? at the forefront, I instead offer to make breakfast so we can chat in the garden, since the weather has picked up as we approach the end of Spring.
“Go sit outside and let the air do some work on getting rid of your hangover. I’ll be out in ten with sustenance,” I command as I point to the back door.
“Thanks, bro. I…I can explain,” he starts.
“Outside. You can tell me once you’ve eaten.”
I send a quick text to Arnie, who is still hiding from the Frankie fiasco in our room, to let him know what was happening. He sends me back good luck and offers to hang out in his office a while so I can spend time with Christian alone.
Taking eggs, avocado, and toast on a large tray outside with apple juice and coffee, I place it on the small glass garden table and get started on eating before Christian summons the courage to talk to me about what was going on.
“I’m gay, Jamie. God… I can feel the relief falling away just telling you finally. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, since we were teens, but I… well, for a long time I was ashamed.”
Christian looks so defeated as he explains to me his greatest secret, one he has kept to himself for what sounds like two decades.
“I would never judge you,” I say, but he shakes his head.
“No. I know you would never judge me for my sexuality. I’m ashamed because I didn’t want to be gay. I tried everything not to be like this, but Jamie, I…. I can’t fight it anymore. It’s who I am,” he confesses with tears streaming down, dripping onto the grass below. I grab him into a hug that has the glasses sloshing apple juice everywhere.
I let him cry it out, holding on to him tightly to let him know I wasn’t going anywhere. I loved him; he was safe here.
After a little while, the crying turns into sniffles, and then he is apologetic about the state of my PJ t-shirt.
“It’s only snot, it’ll wash off. Finish your coffee,” I point to his mug that was now probably lukewarm at best.
“You’re so bossy these days! I wanted to tell you in person. Then stupidly drank too much last night and met Frankie; God, is he a whirlwind. I’m sorry that I brought him back here without asking. I just got caught up in trying to be free from the hold I’ve let over me for so long,” he explains.
“Well, finding Frankie like that was not on my bingo card this year. I forgive you. Just maybe give us a heads-up next time. Freddie is a brat, so he thrived on the drama this morning. He’s not letting this one go for a while, unfortunately,” I laugh.
Some of Christian’s tension bleeds away as he snorts.
“He seems like a firecracker. But also, a good friend. I’m so happy to have come here and found out that my baby brother has found happiness. I’ve worried about you for so long, Jamie.”
I grab him for another tight hug as we bask in the sunshine. "I know," I assure him, "I know."
