Technically, he’s not my uncle. He’s my dad’s best friend. He is, however, Ares’s uncle, which I’m sure is the reason Ares was hovering today. Uncle Marcel no doubt ordered him to watch over me, and in the De Bellis family, you don’t question orders. You just follow them. Or from what I’ve witnessed over the years, that’s how I’ve seen it work.
After showering, I climb into bed and exhale, cocooning myself up in the blankets. I know I have a few hours before my parents get home. I can lie here and justbeuntil then.
Closing my eyes, I let myself feel it. The sadness, the loneliness. And then the tears start. I don’t even try to stop them as I snuggle deeper into the covers and cry. I’m so tired I feel it in my soul. I just want to close my eyes and not wake up. And that thought scares me the most.
I know my mum and dad would be hurt if I were to go away. I know it would hurt my sister too. But other than them, would anyone else care? I don’t think so. Or if they did care, they’d forget me in no time. I’ve done nothing in my life worthwhile to be remembered. Honestly, I don’t think I ever will.
What could I possibly do to make a difference? I’m an heiress. I’ll end up working at my parents’ companies, and I’ll continue to live a life of luxury I haven’t earned.
After almost an hour of crying, I finally stop and that’s when the guilt hits me. I should be happy. I should be out hanging around friends my age and not stuck in my bed on a Monday afternoon. I shouldn’t be feeling so worthless, when I have no reason to feel that way.
I know I have a blessed life. I know I’m better off than most people, and that’s why the guilt weighs down on me. I honestly can’t remember a time I did feel true happiness. I’m so alone inthis. I can’t tell anyone. I can’t let anyone see just hownot okayI am. I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am.
I look at the clock on my wall. I have to get up. I need to wash my face and put on the show of being fine. It’s for the best that my parents don’t know the thoughts in my head. If they knew even some of them, I’d never be left alone again. I wouldn’t put it past my dad to spend twenty-four hours a day watching me, to protect me from myself.
I’m not going to act on my feelings. At least, I don’t think I will. I just need to keep fighting within myself. I will get past this.
After washing my face and putting some drops in my eyes so they don’t look red, I head downstairs. Finding my mother in the kitchen. She likes to cook dinner, even though we have a full-time chef who happily works alongside her as her assistant for meal times.
“Hey, sweetheart. How was your first day?” Mom asks, a huge smile on her face.
Matching her smile and attempting to match her energy as well, I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water and a handful of grapes. “Good. It was school.”
“Yeah, but this school has boys at it. Any cute ones?” She waggles her eyebrows up and down.
My last school was all girls. My dad insisted that my sister and I attend. Not that it made any difference. Kyla still ran off and married a New York mafia prince while my family was on holiday in Italy. I should mention she was only eighteen. That’s why it was a shock and my dad literally wanted to kill her new husband.
“I didn’t notice any cute boys.” I shrug, lying because I spent the entire day noticing one boy.
“Really? Did you see Ares?” Mum presses.
“It’s impossible not to. He’s such a douche, walks around like he owns the whole school.” I roll my eyes.
“I think that’s a family trait. Your Uncle Marcel had that same arrogant air about him when I first met him, but when you get to know the family, you discover there is a lot more to them and there are reasons they’re so guarded,” Mum says. “Come to think of it, your father was just as bad. But boy, did he look good even when he was an ass.”
“Gross.” My face scrunches up.
“Who was an ass?” My father’s voice booms as he enters the now-crowded kitchen.
“You were, when we first met.” Mum laughs.
“I was not an ass,” my father insists. After kissing my mum, he walks over and wraps me in a hug. His lips press against the top of my head before he steps back. “How was school?”
“It was fine,” I tell him, guilt seeping into my pores. There is no doubt my parents love me, and I love them.Again, blessed life.
“Just fine? Marcel take you out for ice cream?” Dad asks, even though he already knows the answer.
“Mhmm, Ares was not happy about that.” I laugh, remembering the look of shock on his face at finding out his uncle and I have ice cream dates.
“Who gives a fuck what Ares thinks about anything?” my dad grunts.
“Not me.” I lift a single shoulder up and down. “I’m going to do some homework. How long will dinner be?”
“About thirty minutes,” Mum says.
“Okay, smells good in here,” I tell her as I walk towards the door.
“You can have your car back tomorrow,” Dad calls out right as I’m leaving.
