“What if he doesn’t? What will you do?” Pepper asks.
“I don’t know. I love him.”
“I know you do. But you have proven you don’t need him, Zara. You’ve been here for six weeks with no contact and you’ve made huge progress. Don’t forget how strong you are or how far you’ve come by yourself.”
She’s wrong. I do need Ares. I think I’ll always need him. But not in the way I was using him before. I don’t want Ares to be my crutch. I want him to just be mine. It will crush me if he doesn’t feel the same way anymore.
Kyla says he calls her asking about me every week, but is that just out of some kind of obligation? I don’t know.
“Zara, you’ve got this,” Pepper says, shaking me out of my own mind.
“I do have this.”
“You are going to be okay, and I’ll still be seeing you twice a week at your house,” she reminds me. “If you need me, you can always message or call.”
“Thank you,” I tell her.
I’d made progress with Dr Finn. But being here in a facility where the sole focus was on my mental health and finding ways to cope with my depression has helped me more than I thought was possible.
I continue colouring in the flower I’ve been working on for the past five minutes. One of the tools the centre has me using is mindfulness colouring. At first, I thought it was childish, but I gave it a go. And surprisingly, it does work to help quiet my mind.
“I’m going to need to invest in a colouring book company.” I laugh.
“Well, the world is your oyster, Zara. You can achieve anything you want to.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me if my parents already invest in some form of book company. I honestly don’t even know all the companies they own.”
“You have no control over what family you’re born into. What you do have control over is how you use the opportunities that family presents you, Zara. Remember, you can do great things with your opportunities. Are you more fortunate than others? Sure, but you are also a kind-hearted young woman. You want to help others. You want to earn your way in life. And I believe you will.”
“I really do appreciate all the help you’ve given me. I think this place might just have saved me.”
“No, you did that all on your own by acknowledging that you needed help. Not everyone can achieve that first step.”
My parents are hovering. They picked me up and brought me home. I asked them not to tell anyone I would be here today. I didn’t want word to get back to Ares.
“You don’t have to watch me. I’m okay,” I tell my dad, who made up some excuse of playing a card game with me. He’s sitting in the living room of my suite.
“I’m not watching you, Zara. I’m hanging out with you because you happen to be one of my favourite people in the entire world and I’ve missed you,” Dad says.
“I’ve missed you too, but I don’t need you to babysit me. I need you to trust me when I tell you I’m okay.”
“That might take a little time,” he says. “I’m sorry, but losing you isn’t something I’m prepared to do, Zara. If I have to hover over you to make sure that doesn’t happen, then I will.”
“Okay.” I nod my head. I understand his fear. I can’t fault my parents for worrying about me. This is exactly why I never wanted them to know.
“I was thinking it might be time for a remodel.” My dad looks around the room.
“Why?”
“Freshen things up. You’re not a little girl anymore. Maybe change some of the pink?” he suggests.
“I like pink. I don’t need to change anything. Besides, I’m going to be living on campus next year.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am. I want a normal university experience—dorm room and all.”
“Why?”
