“Oh, honey, you’re awake. Thank God. It’s okay. Don’t talk. I’m right here.” My mum appears over the top of me.
My brows furrow.Where am I?
Turning my head to the side, I see my dad. His face is hard and filled with worry. “Here. Sip at this, not too much.” He holds out a plastic cup of water and places the straw against my lips.
I take a small mouthful and cough as the liquid slides down my throat.
“Careful.” Mum runs a hand over my hair.
“What happened?” I can see I’m in a hospital bed, but how did I get here?
“That’s something we’d like to know, Zara,” Dad grunts.
I turn to look at him.
“You took a handful of sleeping pills. Why would you do that? Why the hell wouldn’t you come to me,come to usif you needed help?” He sounds hurt, frustrated, and scared.
“I…” My eyes well up with tears. I can’t stop the flood once it starts. “I’m s-sorry,” I tell him.
“So am I.” He sighs. Leaning down, he presses his lips to my forehead. “I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t see it. I’m so fucking sorry you’ve been going through all of this alone.”
I haven’t been alone, though. Not lately. I’ve had Ares.Oh my god!
“Ares.” I look to my mum as I try to sit up. “Where is he?”
“Don’t you dare fucking move.” Dad’s voice rises. “You’ve just had a procedure to pump the drugs out of your system, Zara. You need to lie down.”
“I need to see him. I need Ares.” I’m starting to panic.
“No, you don’t. What you need is your family and proper medical help, which your mother and I are going to make sure you get. We will get you through this. I’ve already spoken to the doctor you’ve been seeing. We’re finding a more qualified one.”
“I like Dr Finn.”
“Well, whatever she was doing with you wasn’t working.”
“It was. Where is Ares?” I plead with my mother.
“I’ll go get him for you,” she says.
“He’s not coming in here,” Dad cuts in.
“Dominic, a word. Outside.” My mum uses herdon’t mess with metone.
“I’m not leaving her.” My dad points to me. “We could have lost her.”
“And we would have lost her if it hadn’t been for that boy knowing her better than either of us did.” Mum has a pained expression on her face. “We are the ones who failed her, not him.” Mum wipes at her eyes.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want my parents to blame themselves for my failures. They didn’t do this to me.
“You didn’t fail me,” I whisper.
“Yes, I did. I will never forgive myself for not seeing this. I’m your mother, Zara. I should have known how you were feeling.”
“I didn’t want you to find out,” I tell her. “I didn’t want either of you to know.”
“Why?” Dad asks. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Zara. If you would have come to me, I would have found you the help you needed earlier. We could have worked through it together. I have never denied you a single thing in your life. Why wouldn’t you trust me to help you with this?”
“Because I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t want to be a burden any more than I already was,” I admit.
