“Hey.” I suddenly feel self-conscious.
Did I do anything stupid? Was I too loud? Did I taste bad to him?So many doubts cross my mind.
“Way better than I imagined,” Ares says.
“What?”
He smiles down at me. “I think I’m going to need to taste you daily from now on. Don’t make any plans to disappear on me, P.”
My heart skips a beat. He wants to do that again. He wants me to stay around. Or is he just telling me what he thinks I want to hear so I don’t break down into a sobbing mess again?
I can’t believe he found me crying earlier. I left the bedroom, but I didn’t have it in me to leave the apartment. I probably should have gone home and saved him from all of this.
“Stop.” Ares’s tone is harsh.
“What?”
“Stop doubting that I want you. I happen to think you’re pretty fucking perfect, Zara. And if you need me to tell you that a hundred times a day so you don’t forget, I will.”
“Okay,” I say because I don’t really know what else to tell him.
I can’t stop the inner thoughts of doubt. They’re always there. If I knew how to turn them off, I would have by now. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to always think the worst or always be sad. I don’t want to be fighting the dark thoughts constantly, fighting to find something to hold on to keep me here. Is it reallyfair to make Ares that thing, the one thing that keeps me rooted, helps me fight to stay?
Ares presses his lips to mine and then pulls away. “We should go,” he says. “Before my dad turns up to make sure you didn’t murder me in my sleep.”
I gasp. “Why would your dad think I’d do something like that?”
“Because your last name is McKinley. You guys are known for feeding pigs.” He smirks.
I smack at his chest. “That’s a rumour. I’ve never seen my dad feed anyone to those pigs.”
“Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t make it not true. I’ve never seen you walking down a church aisle in a white dress, coming towards me. Doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.”
“Okay, Romeo, that’s insane. I’m not going to run off and get married the minute I turn eighteen like my sister did.”
“Who said anything about running off? Also, speaking of you turning eighteen, what are your plans for your birthday? It’s in a couple of weeks.”
“You remember when my birthday is?” I can’t help the huge smile that spreads across my face.
“I remember everything when it comes to you, P.”
As Ares pulls into the driveway of his house, he turns to me. “What are your plans this weekend?”
My plan was to hide out in my bedroom alone, like I always do. Disappear from the world and let myself just be me, sadness and all, and not have to keep up the mask. Of course I can’t tell him that’s what I do every weekend.
“Um, I have homework,” I answer instead.
“Really? For what class?” Ares raises a brow.
“A lot of them?” It comes out as a question.
“We have the same classes, P. Are you trying to find an excuse to not hang out with me?”
“No.”Yes, because I can’t tell him I want to be alone. That I need to be alone.
Without a word, Ares gets out of the car and walks around to my side. He’s there before I can reach for the handle. Holding the door open, he offers a hand. And without a thought, I place my palm over his.
“I can open a door,” I tell him.
