I’m speechless. What do I even say to that? When did my life become his? Why is he so concerned about what I do? I don’t get it.
Ares pulls the covers back on the bed and climbs on top. “Come on, let’s find a movie to watch,” he says, patting the empty half of the bed as if we weren’t just yelling at each other. As if he didn’t just call me out for having issues.
My body doesn’t get the memo that we’re not happy with Ares, because I find myself sitting next to him, my back resting against the headboard. “I don’t understand what you want from me, Ares.”
“I want you to fight, Zara.”
“I’m trying to…”
“Good.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls my body down towards his until my head is resting on his shoulder and his arm is wrapped around my back, holding me tight. “I want you to stop trying to push me away, though.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t. I also want you to never parade another guy around in front of me, because I will kill him,” he says.
“What’s going to happen? To George? What do I tell his sister?”
“Nothing, P. It’s not your problem. You say nothing. You saw nothing. You know nothing.”
“Okay.”
Ares takes the controller from my hands and puts on a movie. “Whenever you want to go home, let me know. I will take you.”
“What if I want to just stay here? Like this?”
“Then we’ll stay here, just like this. You and me, P. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why do you call me that? P? I’m not a princess, Ares.”
“You think P stands for princess?” He chuckles.
“Doesn’t it?”
“No. It’s forpapillon.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s French, for butterfly. My mom had Cara and I learn some French when we were younger before we went on holiday. And when I heard that one, I saw you the next day and it just fit.”
“You think I’m like a butterfly?”
“Butterflies are beautiful. So are you. And the world is literally at your feet, P. You just have to spread those wings and fly.”
“I don’t know how to fly.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll help you learn.” I feel his lips press onto the top of my head, and I think I melt a little bit.
“When I’m with you, the darkness fades away,” I whisper.
“I shouldn’t be anyone’s light. I’m not a good person,” Ares tells me.
“You are to me.” I wrap my arm around his torso, hugging him and wishing I really could just stay in this moment forever.
Chapter Twenty
Zara fell asleep about two hours ago. I haven’t moved. I don’t want to wake her. Honestly, I like having her draped over me, being able to hold her close withouther pushing away or trying to cut the connection that’s always tethered us to each other.
I’ve been guilty of denying it too, but I’m done fighting this thing. I’ve decided I’m going all in. We’re going to do this life together, and she is going to have to get onboard with the idea of us being anus. I will fight for it for the rest of my life if I have to. I will fight for her even when she doesn’t want to fight anymore.
