“That’s not what I want to know.”
“What is it you want to know, Ares?”
“I want to know who hurt you.”
“No one has hurt me.”Why would he think someone hurt me?
“Then why are you sad all the time, Zara?”
His question makes my body freeze. No one has ever asked me that. No one has ever really noticed when I’m sad. My heart picks up speed and a light sweat forms on my forehead.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, because it’s the truth. I don’t know why I’m sad and I don’t know how to deal with him knowing that I am. Before I can stop myself, a tear slides down my cheek.
Ares reaches over. His thumb wipes the tear away. “Is that why you get high?” he asks, his voice soft, almost like he cares.
“I just like the escape from my brain,” I admit. “It’s not a problem. And it’s not your problem.” I’m embarrassed. I can’t even look him in the eye. Standing up, I bend and pick up my bag.
Without another word, Ares follows me out of the classroom. I don’t go next door, like I’m supposed to. Instead, I walk through the double doors, fully aware that with every step, Ares is following me.
I make my way around the side of the building, and Ares grabs hold of my arm and pulls me into a small enclave.
“Why are you following me?” I ask him.
“Because I want to,” he says. “Where are you planning on going, P?”
“Home.”
“Yeah? What are you going to do at home?”
“Sleep,” I tell him. I’m tired. “Not be here.”
“It’s almost lunch time. Constance will be looking for you.”
“She barely knows me.”
“Fine. I’ll be looking for you.”
“You can snap your fingers and have any girl in this school pay you attention. And they would actually want to. Go and find someone else to bother, Ares.”
“You don’t want to pay me attention, P?” He smirks, and my stomach does that stupid dip thing again. When he looks at me like this, hungry and as if he wants to devour me, I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel lonely. It’s dangerous. If I’m not careful, I’ll replace smoking weed with using Ares to make me feel good.
“I’m not sure what has given you the impression that I do,” I tell him.
The bell rings out. “That’s lunch. Come on.” Ares slides a palm down my arm and clasps my hand. I look down at where our fingers are joined, and a weird feeling runs through me. I don’t want him to let go. Again, dangerous. I really need to find a way to get him to leave me alone.
Right now, I let myself use him for the comfort he’s giving me and follow him to the table. “You know, if you keep touching me and holding my hand and stuff, people are going to start getting the wrong idea, Ares.”
“What idea would that be, P?”
“The one where you’re off the market. Wouldn’t want all the girls to think you’re unavailable,” I tease. “How ever will you keep adding notches to your bedpost?”
Ares laughs. “The girls here wouldn’t care if I had a girlfriend or not, P. They’d still let me do whatever the fuck I wanted to them. Desperation makes people stupid.”
“That’s… disturbing.” I cringe.
“I wouldn’t actually do it,” he says. “If I had a girlfriend, I’d be loyal. Because I’m not a filthy-rat, cheating bastard.”
Ifhe had a girlfriend, I have no doubt he’d be good at being a boyfriend. If he’s giving me this much attention and we’re just friends, imagine actually being his?
