‘I shouldn’t have been able to break them that easily,’ she tells me as if that’s any explanation.
It’s not.
‘These are dead crystals.’ When I look at her like I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, she clarifies. ‘They’re fake. Made from cheap, very brittle glass, which is why they shattered into such tiny pieces.’
My head cocks to one side. ‘I don’t understand. You gave us fake crystals? Why?’
‘It’s a little trick I like to use when I notice my students are struggling. I haven’t done it in quite some time but when Professor Kroff came to tell me that you were requesting some assistance with yours and Mr Davis’s elemental skills, it reminded me of this.’
‘So, you’re saying what happened today with Xavier – that wasn’t the crystal?’
She shakes her head. ‘Xavier Davis has phenomenal potential; I could sense it in him the moment I shook his hand on the first day. He has a well of magic just sitting there, waiting to be tamed. He, like manyof my students in the past, just needed something else to believe in in order to believe in himself.’
‘That’s …’ I huff an astounded laugh. ‘Wow, so it’s a belief -driven response of some sort?’
‘Exactly,’ she beams. ‘The belief that the crystal is going to help amplify their magic is often strong enough for them to push aside their doubts of their own capabilities. What could go wrong and what happens if they fail. Nine times out of ten it works, but sometimes …’ she trails off, giving me a pointed look.
‘Sometimes it doesn’t,’ I finish for her, realising that I’m that one out of ten that still manages to fail andthat’swhy she’s asked me in here.
‘Arianell – may I call you that?’ she asks, sitting back in her chair.
I nod.
‘I had hoped to pull you aside right after class today, but you left so abruptly. I hated knowing you were somewhere out there doubting yourself. It made me feel terrible for doing this, even after Mr Davis’s success. Though I must say, I had a strong feeling this little gimmick wouldn’t work on you.’
‘You did? Why?’
Her eyes soften, ‘I could see the doubt in your eyes well before you had given them a try.’ Her gaze drops to the glass on her desk. ‘Tell me, truly, did any part of you believe they would help you today?’
I swallow thickly, because I already know my answer. ‘I wanted them to. But no. I didn’t.’
‘And why is that? This was your idea after all, to get the stones from Professor Kroff. Yet when given the chance to use them, fake or not, you still didn’t think they could help you?’
‘I just … felt nothing from them.’ It’s the only explanation that I have that doesn’t make me sound like I’m fishing for sympathy. Because it’s true, I didn’t even need to touch them to know I felt zero connection to them, they didn’t call to me like I expected them to. Like I thought they did to Xavier, but now I realise that was just his own magic radiating out of him. He likely mistook his magic for the stones, I think we alldid. But when it came to my turn, I just knew there was nothing there for me to latch onto.
Professor Fern makes a curious humming sound. ‘You have great intuition.’
I have to hold back a snort. ‘Some people I know would strongly deny that.’
‘For magic,’ she adds with a smile. ‘Whether you were aware of it or not, you were naturally able to sense that the stones weren’t real. Which can be easily mistaken as a lack of connection when you don’t know what you’re searching for. So don’t beat yourself up about that.
‘Tell me,’ she continues. ‘You said you felt nothing from them. Do you often feel magic? For example, can you feel it coming from me?’
My brows dip. ‘I … don’t know.’
‘All right, how about this. Have you ever come across something, orsomeonewhere you thought you could feel their presence? Maybe you felt drawn to them or like you couldn’t look away?’
Her questions are strange but for some reason a face floats into my mind and suddenly I know exactly what she’s asking me.
Hesitantly, I nod. ‘Headmaster Zain.’
As if saying his name will conjure him, my eyes flick to the door, and when he doesn’t come bursting in, I look back at Professor Fern to find a tightness in the lines around her eyes.
‘And what exactly did you feel when you were near him?’
‘Power.’ I bite the inside of my cheek, remembering the oppressive feeling I associate with the headmaster. ‘A lot of it. It was … staggering.’
‘He is a very powerful man, Arianell. Butthatis your intuition. Or what used to be known asMagnus Intueri. The ability to sense magic or power in another person, or thing. Now, I have overheard you speaking to Xavier Davis in class and I apologise for eavesdropping, but am I right in saying that you cannot feel your own magic?’
