A chorus of gasps fill the field as the branch shudders with a loud creak. We all step back, except for Xavier whose blue eyes are trained on the branch with an intensity I’ve not seen from him before.
Another loud creak reaches my ears before a deafening snap breaks out. The branch snaps, but it’s caught on Xavier’s torrent of air, so before it crashes to the ground it’s picked up and thrown ten feet across the lawn with such force, it steals my breath away.
The second it pummels into the grass and rolls a few more feet, everyone’s eyes snap back to Xavier. He’s panting, chest and shoulders heaving, his cheeks flushed red. His blue eyes are wide, like he can’t believe what just happened, and based on the shock painting everyone else’s faces, neither can they.
Our eyes lock for a second. Frozen in time, but then his lips start to curve upward. I feel mine do the same. Tilly and I start running for him at the exact same moment. Our arms wrap around him fiercely, almost tackling him to the ground with our excitement.
‘You did it!’ I shout, bringing my hands to his shoulders and squeezing them affectionately.
He laughs, self-deprecatingly. ‘It must have been the blue lace.’
‘Nonsense,’ Tilly shakes her head. ‘The stone can’t give you power like that, Xav. It’s only supposed to enhance what you already have. That was allyou.’
His chest shudders, and in this moment, I feel an immense amount of pride for him. All thoughts of my own lack of magic have left my mind entirely, because all I can focus on are the horrific scars he showed me when we first met. It feels like a lifetime ago. Days can feel like weeks in this place, everything moves so quickly, and even though I’ve only known these two for a short while, it feels like they’ve always been part of my life.
My hands find the sides of his face. I wait for his eyes to meet mine before I whisper, ‘Fire cannot breathe without air, Xavier.’
I see the moment my words land right where I want them to. A defiant spark ignites his gaze, paired with a small nod. ‘Then I’ll strip them all of it.’
My smile widens. This is more than knowing he can wield. This is more than proving he really does belong in Agate.
This means he is no longer defenceless.
They can no longer hurt him.
The pride I feel for him swells, and I wrap my arms around him once more, basking in his happiness and relief. Something catches my eye when I pull back from our embrace, a form cloaked in black. Hard green eyes bore into mine, making my heat stammer.
Sebastian’s leaning against the stone outer wall of the Opal tower, his arms are crossed over his chest. His eyes narrow as they drop to Xavier’s hands at my waist. He glares at them as if he’s picturing setting them aflame.
Professor Fern walks over, congratulating Xavier and tearing my gaze from Sebastian’s. I pull back from my friend, stepping aside. He’s earned all the praise he’s given. He places the stone in her palm. She takes it back to her bag and places it inside a velvet pouch, before returning with two more.
Her eyes find mine now, and the high I felt for Xavier dissipates when I realise she wantsmeto go next. All of a sudden reality hits and doubt begins to eat at me from the inside out. I look down at the two black velvet pouches in each of her hands, then back to where Sebastian still stands. He’s watching me with intense curiosity.
‘I thought we could begin with these two,’ Professor Fern states. ‘This one,’ she lifts her right hand, ‘is red garnet and the other is amethyst. Since you’re not sure what your element is, I’ll let you decide which one you’d like to try first. If you feel anything, and it can be as small as a flicker, then I’ll ask you to take it into the middle of the clearing. Remember, listen to your gut.’
My gut is telling me to snatch them both from her hands and run far, far away from everyone else to avoid embarrassment. But I don’t think that’s what she means.
Instead, I give myself a moment to think. Right now, she’s offering me a stone to enhance a fire or water element. I try to picture what I know red garnet and amethyst to look like and pair it with the empty space inside of me that’s supposed to hold my magic. As if I’m reachingdown inside of myself, I imagine one of the stones filling the gap like a puzzle piece needing to find its home. But no matter what I do, or how I manoeuvre it, neither one feels right. They don’t fit.
An irritated prickle prods within me when I refocus on the pouches extended before me.
‘Have you decided?’ Professor Fern asks softly. Her tone is placating, and it only makes me feel worse.
‘I’ll take the amethyst,’ I say already knowing in my gut that it won’t work. Just as expected, when she slips the small purple stone from its pouch and places it in my palm, I feel …nothing.
There’s no charge that fills the air, no vibrating hum beneath my skin that gives me any indication that this stone, as beautiful as it is, will call to whatever lies dormant inside me.
‘I don’t feel anything.’ I hold the stone out, willing her to take it back before I throw it away. The longer it sits in my hand, the more inadequate I feel.
‘That’s all right,’ she gives me an encouraging smile that deepens the fine lines around her small eyes. ‘Just because this one doesn’t work, doesn’t mean another won’t. Like moonstone. Or maybe you still need more time.’
I want to tell her that I don’thavetime. Valmora Academy won’t tolerate my lack of magic much longer. If I don’t get fully initiated into a unit soon, I’ll be forced out. Instead, I just nod and wait as she takes the stone from my hand, places it back in its pouch and swaps it with the red garnet. It’s smaller than the amethyst, but equally as beautiful, if not more so. It’s a rich, wine red but as it shifts in my palm and the light catches the edges, I notice it’s not a flat, uniform colour. Instead, there are darker shades within, and right at its heart sits such a deep red, it almost appears black.
Stars, it truly is a beautiful stone but again – I feel nothing.
Words evade me as emotion clogs my throat. Everyone is watching me; I feel their curious eyes on my skin. I feelhiseyes. My head startsto shake before words form on my tongue, informing Professor Fern that it’s not working.
Wordlessly she takes it from my palm. Seeing Xavier’s success planted a tiny spark of hope inside of me, but that seed has been promptly drowned beneath the weight of my insecurities and doubt.
