‘Everything’sabout Lukas!’ I cry, frustrated with myself and this whole damn situation.
‘Not this,’ he gestures wildly between us with his hands. ‘You and me, this has nothing to do with him.’
‘There is no you and me. You made sure of that the moment you labelled me a pariah in your unit. You made this,’ I make the same gesture he did, ‘about Lukas, the second you treated me as if I had done the crime myself, and for some stupid reason I almost started to forget all of that.’ My head shakes as I inwardly scold myself.
‘So that’s it? I say your name—’
‘That isnotmy name,’ I all but growl in his face, my finger jabs directly at his chest. The nail digging into his sternum.
It’s yours, I want to scream. That name isyours.
I spin away and stomp to my bed. As I shove my body beneath the covers, facing the wall so I don’t have to look at him anymore, I hear him huff in frustration. I’m punching the fluff back into my pillow when I hear him mutter something about taking a shower.
By the time he’s out, and the room has filled with steam and the scent of my soap, I’ve somewhat cooled down. I half expect him to walk out and get Jed or Lillian to come in here like last time. But I’m surprised when I hear him blow out the lantern above my dresser, seconds before the room is encased in darkness. A blanket rustles, he sighs, and then everything is silent.
I lay awake for hours, fighting the urge to roll over and see if he’s staring at my back, unable to sleep as well. Only when I’ve fallen into complete exhaustion do my eyes finally close. Then and only then, do I think I hear his quiet apology. Though I’m so delirious, I probably made it up.
THIRTY-EIGHT
It’s been a week since Sebastian slept in my room. We’ve gone back to barely speaking to one another. He grunts orders at me from the outside of the ring, and I grumble profanities back, before ultimately doing as I’m told. I’m here to train, and that’s what I’m focused on. He might be a dickbag, but he knows his shit,thatI can trust.
Aiden is still stuck in the infirmary. From what Tilly said, he’s been placed under a spell -induced coma to help his body heal faster. Cillian pulled me aside the other day right before training. He’d thanked me for helping Isla pull Aiden out of the forest. It wasn’t mushy or sentimental, the way he spoke to me, but there was something else within his words. Gratitude, maybe. Camaraderie, I suppose. Either way, he no longer overlooks my very existence; instead he’s actually teamed up with Isla and me a few times during drills, or run beside the two of us silently through the forest. He doesn’t say much, but he’s talented, hardworking and fiercely loyal to his friend. Qualities I can appreciate.
Moira’s on probation for the stunt she pulled with me in the forest, as is Marcus. Who has tried to apologise to me, but I wasn’t hearing it. He made his bed, now he can lie in it. I don’t trust that he’s not just doing it because he wants to get back into Nicks’s good books. My guard is up constantly around them, and for good bloody measure.
This week has been rough. I’m training harder, and not just in combat. But I’ve been staying up late with Lillian each night as she tries to helpme practise bringing out my element. In my spare time, between classes and studying, I convinced Isla to practise dagger throwing out by the cliffs. We’ve successfully mutilated a rotting tree each : its hollow trunk is peppered with missing chunks.
I’ve also started scouring through the library for anything to do with black magic, or sacrifice. The amount of time I’ve spent in that library – anyone would think I chose Agate as my unit. There’s been nothing though, which is endlessly frustrating. The restricted section inside of Agate is my only hope so far. Lillian doesn’t talk much about Lukas, other than what she’s already said, and I can tell she’s wary to share more. There’s something strange about the way the three of them – Jed, Sebastian and Lillian – skirt around Lukas’s death. I just can’t put my finger on it though. But I hope with more time spent around them, I’ll figure it out.
Xavier is stood in the middle of the field behind the academy. The sun is beating down on us all as we hover nearby, watching and waiting. Xavier’s eyes close in concentration, his hands are fisted at his side. In his left one he holds a blue lace agate stone; one of the stones Kroff passed over to Professor Fern. She was away all week, so this is the first time we’ve seen her for practice since Kroff told me he handed them over.
Sweat beads at Xavier’s temples. Strands of his auburn hair stick to his neck as he focuses on bringing his element out. He and I are the last ones left who haven’t been able to conjure a single flicker of magic out of the entire class, and to say it’s given me a complex is an understatement.
‘Come on,’ I mutter under my breath as I watch him from the side lines. I know he wants this as desperately as I do and I cannot stand to see the look of disappointment and how embarrassment floods his cheeks with heat once more. I want my friend to succeed, not only for his sake, but selfishly also for mine. If he can do this, it’ll give me hope that maybe I’ll be next. That maybe I’m not broken after all.
Tilly’s hand slips into mine. I look over at her and she gives me an encouraging smile along with a soft squeeze of her hand.
‘I have a good feeling about this,’ she whispers, not wanting to break Xavier’s concentration.
‘I do too,’ I say honestly. There’s something different about him today, I could feel it the second he picked up the blue -laced agate. There seemed to be a charged energy that surrounded him the moment he rubbed his thumb over it, as if that small caress woke whatever lay inside. Everyone else must feel it too because they all stopped what they were doing and have come to watch, waiting with bated breath as Xavier lets out a shuddering exhale.
His brows furrow, his empty hand flexes at his side and for a weighted moment nothing happens. I start to brace myself for his eyes to open and his face to fall, but then I feel the wind pick up.
It starts small. One might think it’s just a change in direction, but it has that same charged energy I felt from Xavier earlier.
My heart skips a beat.
Tilly inhales sharply.
The long grass at Xavier’s feet begins to rustle.
His shoulders stiffen. He can feel it …
My breathing shudders. The stone is working. It’sreallyworking.
Just then, a current of wind whips at Xavier’s face, blowing his hair from his forehead and knocking him back a step. His eyes fly open, wide and disbelieving. It doesn’t stop though. The gust of wind picks up small sticks and leaves from the ground, spiralling around him. They dance like they’re alive – even Professor Fern’s small gasp of surprise reaches my ears.
‘No wonder it took him so long,’ Tilly breathes in awe, just as a strong gust circles up and wraps around an over -hanging tree branch, making it bob up and down. ‘It took me months to produce a sliver of this amount of magic, Aria.’ She grabs my arm tightly with both hands.
