I decide that I don’t need to make a wish this year, because I have all I need right here with me. So instead, I push my hair behind my ears, lean forward and blow out the candle. The solitary flame puffs out, leaving a trail of smoke wafting up from the burnt wick.
I watch with a smile on my face as it dances through the air in thin wisps. Mom and Dad start clapping and cheering. Their enthusiasm isinfectious. I can’t help but clap along with them. Naturally, my eyes search out my big brother’s gaze across the table from me, but when I look over, his face is distorted by the black smoke rising between us.
Looking down to make sure it was only one candle, I try to fan the smoke away with my hand. But the more I seem to fan, the thicker and blacker the smoke is that rises around me. Not just from the unlit candle, I realise, but from where Lukas is sitting … as if it’s coming from him.
That’s when I see it.
His eyes.
His face.
I gasp loudly and push myself away from the table as he comes into view. I don’t get far though; someone’s hands clamp down on my shoulders. Their nails dig into my flesh so hard that I cry out in pain.
‘Look at him,’ my mother’s voice hisses in my ear. Raspy and cold.
‘Look at him!’ she yells, louder this time. But I can’t. I don’t want to.
‘No, p-please,’ I whimper, turning my head away from the charred flesh covering my brother’s face.
My dad starts to bang his fist on the table, causing cutlery to rattle against the wood. The candle falls from the cake.
Thump, thump, thump.
Oh Stars, Lukas’s eyes. They’re gone! Burnt away, leaving behind two gaping, hollow, dark holes in his face. Flaps of skin hang from his cheeks in straggly burnt pieces.
I turn my head away as bile finds its way up my throat. My mother’s hands rise from my shoulders to the sides of my head. She forces me to face him.
Thump, thump, thump.
No, please. I don’t want to see him like this.
Tears sting my eyes. I choke on a sob.
Thump, thump, thump.
Lukas!
A gasp rips from my throat as I startle awake and jerk upright in my bed. The towel I was using as a makeshift blanket folds at my waist, bundling into my lap. It takes me several deep breaths to get my heart rate to slow down enough for me to understand that I’m safe. I’m here, notthere.When I do, my eyes blink furiously as I attempt to evict the image of Lukas’s face all burnt and charred from my mind.
My shaky fingers reach for my face; the phantom touch of my mother’s hands holding my head lingers, making me shiver. It isn’t until I hear my name being called that I realise I’m not imagining the thumping sound. It’s coming from the other side of my door.
‘Nocthare, open the hell up!’ The hoarse voice is familiar.
What the hell?
Lillian?
On shaky legs, I make quick work of getting to the door and unlocking it. The second I do, it’s shoved open, causing me to jump back before it collides with my face. Lillian barrels through, her eyes scanning me from head to toe before spinning around in a circle to assess my room.
‘Where the fuck have you been?’ she all but hisses at me.
‘Um, here?’ I look around as if it’s obvious.
‘And you’ve been here all night?’
‘Yes, Stars! Clearly you’re not a morning person,’ I yawn, feeling my back crack as I stretch out like a cat.
‘Now isn’t the time for you to develop a sense of humour. You’re just lucky I got here first so we can come up with a story.’
