Collapsing back onto the mountain of pillows behind her, she stared at the swirling design in the popcorn ceiling. Harvey had brought her home. He’d carried her inside, set her up on the couch and covered her with what she could only imagine as the softest blanket she’d ever touched. Why? Why not take her straight home? Why go through all this effort for someone you had no intention of sticking around for?
Because he didn’t know where she lived.
Right. Embarrassment at the slightest thought he’d gone out of his way for her out of affection flared.
You’re nothing more than an obligation. You know that, right? He doesn’t want you. It’s that baby that’s got him sticking around. Though I can’t imagine why. Kids are nothing but a burden. Just like you.
Her teeth ached as she snapped her jaw shut. Her mother always seemed to have perfect timing when it came to reminding Drennan of who she was. Not the one people missed or the onesomeone worked to keep around. A passing thought, maybe. The one who took on the responsibility to check in with friends and go out of her way to ensure they had the support they needed. Never the one who was checked on. The only reason Harvey had brought her here was because she’d fallen asleep on the drive, and he hadn’t wanted to wake her up.
Bits and pieces of the house’s layout filtered into her memory from the one and only night she’d been here before. The hallway to her left housed a laundry closet. The doors had nearly buckled as Harvey had hauled her into them, his mouth insistent and desperate at her throat. Across from that, a small bathroom with a single vanity sink, toilet and shower stall where he’d disappeared to clean up then returned with a warm washcloth to help her do the same. Then the bedroom at the end of the hall. Where she’d lost herself in a man who’d looked at her as though she was the only woman in the world for him. Where she’d felt wanted and sexy and free for the first time in her life. No expectations. No promises. No disappointments.
She’d known her first one-night stand would change her life. She just hadn’t expected it to change so much. She hadn’t gotten the chance to tour the rest of the house, but she imagined the kitchen waited on the other side of the arch separating the living room from the rest of the house. All so different in the daylight.
Her stomach growled again. Somehow louder than before. Sitting upright, Drennan took a deep breath against the hunger pains threatening to eat her from the inside out. She slid her hand across her low abdomen, where she imagined the baby was having the time of its life with the concert her body was performing. “This is your fault. You won’t let me keep anything down.”
She scrubbed both hands down her face. She’d only found out she was pregnant this morning, and she was already talking to the ball of cells like they’d known each other for years. Sheneeded to get out of here. The front door was right there. She could just leave. She could pretend she hadn’t come face-to-face with the father of her baby at a crime scene and focus on the job she was meant to do. Though, she wasn’t sure where her purse had ended up. Or her phone and keys. Oh, and the van with the dead body in the back. For crying out loud.
She grabbed for the blanket draped over her. It was worn, softer than expected for being knitted or crocheted—she didn’t know the difference—and obviously well loved for years. Little bubbles of yarn caught between her fingers, laid out in boxlike patterns while the rest of the design seemed to frame each one in braids. The yarn itself had frayed in certain areas, especially at the edges, but there was something comforting about the muted gray color. Soft and warm and heavy. The afghan was like a giant security blanket specifically purposed to put her at ease. She hadn’t noticed it the night Harvey had brought her home, but it was obvious from the scent of his body wash—something bright and earthy—he used it often.
“It was my mother’s.” His voice did something no amount of romance novels had accomplished, squeezing her insides until she was sure she’d snap from the tension. Harvey took position under the squared arch between the living room and where she imagined the dining room and kitchen waited. “Took her years to finish it, but once she did, she curled up with that thing with a book and tea in hand every day waiting for me to come home from school.”
“It’s beautiful.”Was his mother’s. Did that mean she’d passed?Her heart immediately jumped, wanting to find out as much as she could about the man who’d waited for her in the clinic lobby, but that little voice in the back of her head warned her off. Whatever this was between them, it wasn’t more than responsibility. She had to remember that, but she didn’t have to stick around to dig the knife deeper. Drennan couldn’thelp but give the blanket one more caress before she shoved to stand, straightening the imaginary wrinkles in her sweatshirt and jeans. Where were her shoes? “Well, thank you for allowing me to confiscate your couch, but I should get going. Dr. Yarrow has probably tried to get ahold of me a dozen times since this morning. I’m sure he’s losing his mind wondering where that body is.”
Oh, hell. The body. She could only imagine the damage done to the evidence in this heat. Hours of sped up decomposition could make or break this case, and she’d wasted nearly an entire day unconscious. Tears stung her eyes, but she wasn’t going to let them get the best of her. At least not here where Harvey could hold it against her. She caught sight of her shoes and her purse near the door and made a point to focus on escape rather than the tendril of fear that grabbed hold at the thought of losing this job. It wouldn’t be the end of the world with what she had in savings, but she genuinely needed this to work.
“I think he was more worried about you than the body.” Harvey moved into the living room. And offered her a cup of pale-colored tea. Taking a sip from his own mug, he exuded calm when her entire nervous system threatened to throw her off the tracks. “I had some tea stashed in the cabinet from the last rangers who lived here. It’s peppermint. I’m not sure if it’s still good, but I read the caffeine in coffee increases the risks for miscarriage, leads to low birth weight and causes cognitive issues for the baby. And the peppermint is supposed to help with the nausea.”
Her breath rushed out of her. Drennan wasn’t sure if she was more caught off guard by the fact he’d spoken to Dr. Yarrow or that he’d read about the effects of caffeine on pregnancy. She took the mug, not entirely sure what to do next. Again, her stupid heart wanted to read more into his actions, but she shut that traitor up with a gulp of warm tea. The peppermint soothedthe emptiness in her stomach, but she’d have to attempt to eat something soon to keep from passing out again. “You talked to my boss?”
Harvey stared at her over the top of his mug as he took another sip. He’d changed out of his uniform and into what she’d always thought of as lumberjack chic. The red-and-black-plaid button-down highlighted the thickness of his facial hair and intensified the blue in his eyes. His dark jeans carved out a very clear picture of how well he took care of himself as the muscles in his legs flexed with every shift in his weight while his boots held on to lines of crusted mud. Much like the night they’d met. He was a man who could lose himself in a national park, sit at ease in a crowded bar or hunt his own dinner. “Figured you’d need time to recover from what happened. Considering you’ve been passed out on my couch for the better part of three hours, I think it’s safe to say I was right. I called him from the clinic. Told him to come pick up your van with the drowning victim in the back.”
Holy hell. Her insides twisted in a way that had nothing to do with hurling her guts up. Drennan nearly choked on her next mouthful of tea. “Did you…did you tell him I’m pregnant?”
“No.” Those dark, intense eyes held her prisoner as Harvey leaned against the archway guarding the rest of the house. “Wasn’t sure if you were telling anyone.”
She wasn’t. At least, not until she’d wrapped her head around it first. Or maybe she was putting off telling anyone at all. Sooner or later, Dr. Yarrow would notice changes in her physical appearance. There wouldn’t be any chance of hiding the pregnancy, but a piece of her wanted to keep the news to herself for a while. To have something that was solely hers, that no one could criticize her for. A ravenous flood of warmth assaulted her from head to toe that Harvey had made that same call she would’ve made on her behalf. “Thank you. For reaching out to him. You didn’t have to do that.”
She’d spent the better part of her life learning how to be alone despite having a living parent right there in front of her. But she wasn’t alone anymore. And she wouldn’t be for the rest of her life.
“Couldn’t have you passing out on the way back to Hurricane and getting in an accident. Not sure your medical examiner could handle the influx in autopsies.” His mouth twitched underneath all that beard. “I cooked up chicken and avocado quesadillas if you’re hungry. From the sounds your stomach has been making, I’m guessing I’m not too far off the mark with that one, either.”
Drennan waited for that all too familiar internal criticism laced with resentment, a lifetime of disappointment and failed dreams to cut through her. And waited. Her heart thudded hard in her throat. Seconds turned into a full minute, but the voice had gone quiet, and while the tension eased from her shoulders, confusion was making a comeback. “Why?”
His brows pinched together. “What do you mean?”
“A few hours ago, you made it clear you don’t want anything to do with me or this baby other than paying child support.” She fought against the urge to cross her arms over her chest, a surefire way to reveal the vulnerability she’d stopped letting people see a long time ago. “I mean why did you bring me back to your house? Why did you read up on caffeine and pregnancy, and why would you cook for me?”
Harvey didn’t answer.
Maybe he didn’t even know the answer, but Drennan had enough sense to recognize a one-sided effort when it was staring back at her. Yeah, it’d taken three decades to escape the one she’d left back in Ohio, but she was a much faster learner now. And a lot more self-aware of her part in letting people get away with disregarding her. She and Harvey were having a baby together, but the family she’d always wanted with the three kidsand the house and the dog and the sickly-sweet passionate can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other romance that should’ve come with it—those weren’t realistic. Not for her, anyway.
“Why did you choose me that night?” It was the question that had rolled through her head every night when she stared up at her ceiling wishing for life to be different. For someone to want her as desperately as her dad had wanted her mom. And her heart hurt at the idea she’d never have it. Even with the father of her baby.
Harvey slid his hands into his pockets, every ounce the former soldier she imagined him to be. Brooding. Secretive. Heavy. “Because you were in as much pain as I was.”
Chapter Eight
He could see it in her eyes.
