The world fell out from underneath her.
Her dad’s arms squeezed the life out of her rib cage as they plummeted down, down, down. A scream exploded from her chest a split second before they hit the floor. She landed on top of her father, and his hands released their hold on her. Fire consumed everything around her. It hurt to breathe. They had to get up. The stairs were just…gone. Disappearing right out from beneath them. “Daddy.”
Pressing against his chest, Aslen forced herself to sit up. Her neck and shoulder burned. It felt like the skin was melting off. Fat tears choked her as she swatted at the flame attacking her shirt, and she jumped off her dad. Stop. Drop. Roll. That was what they’d taught her in school during an emergency, but her teacher didn’t say anything about the pain. She’d put out her shirt, but the burning wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t it stop? Why wasn’t Daddy helping?
The entire house groaned. A big chunk of wood fell from the ceiling. She couldn’t stop that scream either. So loud it hurt her ears. Aslen pressed her hand against her neck, and another burst of pain stole the strength in her legs. Her knees bit into the hardwood. She could see the door. They just had to get to it. She peeled her hand from her shoulder and neck, coming away with blood. Her stomach clenched hard enough she thought she might throw up.
Then she saw her dad.
He wasn’t moving. The fire roared loud enough she thought it might be screaming at her to run, but she couldn’t leave him. He needed to get them out of here. “Daddy, get up!”
She smeared blood across his shirt, shaking him like she did every Saturday morning when her stomach couldn’t take another minute without breakfast, and she’d watched all her cartoons. Sweat slicked under the new shirt her mom had bought her after school today. Mom was going to be so mad she’d ruined it. Another round of tears spilled down her face. She’d ruined everything. Her shirt. The house. They were going to take her to the zoo and leave her there for real this time.
But Daddy still wasn’t moving. Aslen shoved at him again. His body shifted, but he wouldn’t open his eyes. She grabbed her dad’s oversize hand and pulled as hard as she could. Pain bolted across her neck, and she fell forward. “Daddy, come on! Wake up. We have to go!”
Her sobs were out of control now. She could barely get a full breath. She managed to pull his shoulders a few inches, but that was all. She wasn’t strong enough. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I’ll never play with the matches again. I promise. Please, you have to get up.”
Shouts reached over the sound of the flames. A hard thud attacked the front door across the living room. Aslen ducked against her dad, making herself as small as possible as the door hit the wall behind it. Flashlights blinded her a split second before someone’s hands wrapped around her arms.
“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” She didn’t like that voice. It sounded too deep and far away. A hiss broke through the too-loud pounding of her heartbeat behind her ears a split second before the man pressed something against her face.
A burst of air shot up her nose, and Aslen twisted away.
“Let me go! Daddy!” She kicked with everything she had but couldn’t force the man to let her go as he pressed her against his chest. The pain in her shoulder didn’t hurt anymore. She caught sight of two other people crouching next to her dad. One shook his head. Firefighters. They were here to help. They were going to help Daddy. Energy left her as they reached the front door.
She reached over the man’s shoulder for her dad. “Bring my daddy.”
Aslen clutched her head between both hands as she stared at the flames gaining inches with her every breath. She was trapped. The fire had grown out of control. A sense of raw nakedness brushed over her skin as she ached to have her gear. Her uniform wouldn’t be enough to protect her. Nothing would stop the fire from claiming her as it should have all those years ago. Her spine bumped the tree at her back, her knees begging for relief as she crouched up against the bark. She’d tried to do what her dad had taught her when in danger. “Hide. Make yourself as small as possible. Small as possible.”
Her whispers barely rose over the crack of the wildfire, but the mantra was the only thing keeping her from losing it altogether. She’d killed her parents. Mom had suffocated from smoke inhalation in her bedroom and Dad had died on impact when the stairs had given out. He’d been trying to save her, and instead, she’d killed him. Pressing her fingertips into her scalp, Aslen watched every shift of the flames as they gained ground. There was no stopping it. No escape this time. “Small as possible.”
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad. Maybe it wasn’t as painful as she remembered. Her scars warmed with awareness, as though warning her to put as much distance between her and this place as possible. But there was nowhere to go. No random fact that could get her out of this. And Murray… He didn’t want her. Didn’t know she was out here.
She was alone. She deserved to be alone for what she’d done. She’d had love right in front of her with two supportive and kind parents, and she’d killed it. She’d set herself on this course, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the violence of her foster mother, losing Murray’s parents and brother, losing him had been some kind of long-awaited punishment she’d been trying to outrun her entire life.
Aslen rocked forward and backward on her toes. “Small as possible.”
Movement registered in front of her.
Jaylan Kennex met her at eye level as he crouched a few inches away, and her gaze automatically sought his. Something along the lines of understanding—and sadness—softened his expression. “I’ll make it quick. You won’t feel a thing.”
He nodded as though asking permission then extended his hand toward her. He pried one hand away from her head, tugging on her arm for her to stand, but it…didn’t feel right. Him touching her. This wasn’t what she wanted.
Her opposite hand fell away as he tugged her away from the protection of the tree she’d chosen. This was…wrong. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t pull herself together enough to voice the words. She parted her lips to speak. Only burning heat drove into her lungs.
“Turn around, Aslen.” Jaylan Kennex had his hands on her again. His touch softer than she’d expected. Gentle, even. So why did it feel so wrong? What were they doing here? “Look at the park you’ve worked so hard to save. Remember it how it was.”
The past superimposed over the present.Turn around, sweetheart. You don’t need to see this.The firefighter had been assigned to stay with her as the EMTs had treated the burn on her neck, but she did need to see it. She needed to see them get her parents out of the house. To remind herself of whatshe’d done. To never forget that she deserved to be alone and unwanted.
Aslen looked out at the bright trees being consumed right in front of her, just as her childhood home had fallen apart that night. The nightmares still haunted her, that last look her dad had given her—relief when he’d found her in her bedroom—still as fresh as ever. He’d tried to save her and paid the ultimate price in the end.
But he’d given her a second chance. He’d inspired her to face off with the very thing that’d taken her parents from her and do the same for other little girls who might make the mistake of playing with matches under their beds. Her dad had sacrificed his life for hers, taken the brunt of the impact so she wouldn’t have to. He’d protected her in his last moments, just as Murray had protected her all these years later. Even from herself at times. Decades apart, two men brought together by one common goal: To keep her safe.
And Aslen wasn’t going to let their efforts go to waste.
Pain licked up her pant leg. The haze that’d overtaken her body cleared, throwing her into the present and the fire raging ever closer. Its bellow tried to raise her defenses, but she wouldn’t let it have control this time. She wasn’t scared anymore. She’d already survived the worst life could throw at her.
Strong hands framed her jawline. Jaylan Kennex set his mouth against her ear, his breath caressing the sensitive skin over her scars. “It’ll all be over soon.”
