I could take a lot of things, especially from someone who my wolf was calling mate, but pity wasn’t one of them.
Plus, it was silly to even entertain the thought of Wulf actually being my mate. No one wanted a mate they saw as less-than. Someone they would spend a lifetime caring for in one way or another.
I must’ve called myself a thousand names on my walk home. The constraints of a car felt too caged and so despite my returning pains and aches, I walked. Sprinted at times, depending on my whiplash of energy replaying the events of the night.
“Fuck!” I said out loud, scaring some passersby. “Sorry. I was talking to myself. Sorry.”
They scampered away, giggling. I would’ve done the same thing.
I looked up, finally aware of how far I’d walked. I was in front of Eli’s gym. I had stopped in the changing room on the way out of the club to put on street clothes, and so I decided to walk in.
Eli would listen to me. He also mentioned he got bored on his night shifts.
“Striker!” He said as I walked in. He was wiping down the counters which, to me, looked already clean. “Wait, it’s like midnight. What are you doing here?”
He’d been asking me for months to come in and work out with him. Of course, I’d turned him down cold, citing my leg and pain and all the excuses others used with me when I was active and they weren’t.
“Do you have time to talk?”
Eli snorted. “No, man. This is peak time. Look how packed we are.”
There was one person on the Smith machine. No one else in the whole damned gym other than us. “I see that.”
“Come on. How about we walk while we talk? It’ll stretch that leg.”
I sighed but knew he was right. Walking was the best thing for me but sometimes all I wanted to do was be a rock. “Okay. Yeah.”
We got on the treadmills and began walking, not saying anything at first.
“I told you I met that guy at Crowned,” I started.
“You did. Did you see him again tonight?”
I sighed. My leg burned but in a good way. The way that told me I was working muscles that had been stiff for too long. I remembered when I used to run. The first ten minutes were hell. Always were. You got used to it. “I did.”
“Tell me about it.”
I told him everything. From the moment I met Wulf until now and everything in between.
“Did you ask him if he felt sorry for you, Striker?”
Eli was a good listener. He took in everything. I didn’t realize it until that moment but he was my best friend.
“I saw it on his face.”
“One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you have to ask. Our brain interprets facial expressions and tones of voice and other cues and matches them to what we are already assuming. We usually assume the worst. Especially people like us.”
“People like us?” I asked and bumped up the speed. The stretch did feel great.
“You think you’re the only one who struggles with depression, friend?”
Sometimes I did. This injury had my brain wrapped up in myself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were struggling with it too.”
He shrugged. “It’s okay. But if you ask the alpha about it, I bet he doesn’t pity you at all.”
“You think so?”
Eli nodded. “I do. If you think the whole world thinks you are green then your brain is going to seek out clues to prove you right. Unfortunately, that’s the way it works. But what if he wants to support you? Especially if he’s a PT. Maybe he’s trying to be a part of your life.”
