“Is he awake?” She might have repeated herself a few times before I finally responded.
“Yeah, vomiting it out.” I was only half listening to her as I tried to keep him from making a mess on his clothes. “He’s a lot better.”
She mumbled something else as I rubbed his back, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. “...thirty minutes.”
“Thirty minutes?” I zoned back into the conversation. “For the ambulance? No way. I’ll drive him myself.”
I tossed my phone onto the driver’s seat and dug around the back for the water bottle I put in there that morning. “Here. Drink this.” I wasn’t sure if diluting whatever was left in his stomach was better or worse, but watching him dry heave was almost painful.
He took it without looking at me and rinsed his mouth out before taking a long drink. He just sat there with his hands wrapped around the open bottle for a minute before that water came back up too. “Fuck, that hurts.”
I squeezed his shoulder and ran my palm down his back before stepping away. “Feeling any better?”
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “I think I’m done puking, if that’s what you mean.”
It wasn’t…but that was a start. “We need to get you to the hospital to make sure you’re okay.”
He laughed at that. “I’m definitely not okay…and I’m definitely not going to the hospital. But thanks for the water.” He handed me the bottle and hopped out of the truck. He was wobbly but stayed on his feet.
"Whoa there." I stepped in front of him with my arms outstretched, and he stopped, not because I was blocking him but because he was still unsteady and needed to find his equilibrium. "Where are you going?"
"Not to a hospital." His voice was rough from the vomiting, but it was clear. "They'll put me on a hold."
At least he wasn’t in denial about what he was doing out here. I appreciated that. I didn’t like playing games. "Yeah, they probably will."
"I don't need that." His jaw was set in a way that told me this wasn't a guy who was gonna be reasoned with on this particular point. "I'm fine."
I pulled out the pill bottles and showed him to them. "These half-empty bottles suggest otherwise."
Joshua shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, fully functional now. "I threw it all up. It’s over. You can go on with your life. You’ve done your good deed for the day."
It was probably true that the Narcan had done its work and he'd emptied his stomach thoroughly enough not to require actual medical intervention. But whatever drove him to the point of wanting to end his life hadn’t changed, and that was the part I was worried about.
“Have a nice life.” He took a step to the side to go around me.
I moved with him to block his escape. “Just hold on a second.”
He stopped again and really looked at me for the first time since the diner. The way his eyes locked with mine was heartwrenching. They looked so worn out that it almost knocked me back a step.
The poor guy needed a hug more than anything, but I was just a stranger on the side of the road. What he needed from me was space and understanding. "Whatever you're running from will still be there tomorrow."
He didn't say anything, but he swallowed hard, like that brought up some kind of emotion.
"How about you sleep on it and watch the sunrise with me?" I held his gaze, not daring to look away for even a second. "Besides, I make really good pancakes."
He stood there for a long moment, quietly at war with himself over what he should do or say next.
I held up my arms in surrender. “I promise I’m not a creep. You can call Jeanette right now and let her know you’re hanging out with me tonight so she’ll know where to look if somethinghappens.” I didn’t want to put ideas in his head, but he seemed like a smart guy who hopefully knew better than to just go home with strangers.
“Jeanette from the diner?” He looked so tired and confused but still had his wits about him. “Why would she care?”
“She cares.” I slipped my hands in my pockets and rocked back on my heels. “I do too. Just come with me tonight. Please.”
Finally he just shook his head in defeat, too exhausted to disagree with me. "Whatever." He looked down at his boots and blew out a heavy breath. "Just no cops or doctors."
"No cops or doctors." I released a heavy breath too, grateful he was willing to give me this one night.
“Uh, you want me to follow you or what?” He started walking toward his bike.
