A rush of air filled my lungs as I silently gasped for breath. My palm found the back of his head, and I held it close as he figured out a smooth sucking rhythm.
"This okay?" He pulled back just far enough to murmur against my skin, rubbing his cheek in the valley between my pecs as he looked up.
"Perfect." I lightly scratched his head, and his eyes fluttered shut before he pressed his face to my skin again. "How is it?"
“Mmm…” He hummed against my sensitive flesh, making goose bumps cover my body.
Focused on just enjoying this moment, I closed my eyes and let him do what he wanted to do. The night I found him on that cliff didn’t happen, the fears I’d been holding back every time he wasoutta my sight didn’t exist, and the consequences of giving into my baser needs were officially tomorrow’s problem.
Tonight was about us.
Feeling. Holding. Being.
11
JOSHUA
My first day on the jobsite went better than I expected. Despite a few fumbles and dumb questions that I didn’t realize were dumb until I got the answers, I had fun. And I couldn’t remember the last time I’d described any day of work as fun.
Sal met me in the parking lot and introduced me to Trey, the lead carpenter. From there, I was basically following everyone around and trying to figure out how to be useful. There were four guys plus Sal, and they all seemed nice enough. Trey needed help holding up long boards while he screwed them overhead, and then Danny let me help with the demo of an old bathroom that was being completely replaced.
The only problem was that after being sedentary for so long, I’d forgotten how exhausting physical labor could be. On the other hand, while my joints and muscles were aching from overuse, my brain was quiet, and I didn’t have time to obsess over my night with Matthew. It was nice.
Nice to be busy and even nicer to be productive.
By lunch, I'd spent some time with each of the different trades and was showing an unexpected competency with electrical. Maybe it was my lack of self-preservation instinct, but I wasn’t the least bit weary at handling wires, testing live wires, or replacing dead circuits. Bronson even mentioned that most newbies took at least a few days before digging into wiring.
Apparently, most newbies had shit to live for.
That thought brought a smile to my face as I considered how dramatically my life had recently changed and that maybe I had something to live for too.
We ate lunch out back on the loading dock. I opened the bagged lunch Matthew had packed for me and found a turkey sandwich and an apple with a little container of chips. There was even a note scribbled on the inside of the bag that said “Don't hurt yourself.”
I distracted myself by obnoxiously chewing my apple as I fought the emotion clogging my throat.
He actually cared. It was a foreign feeling that I wasn’t sure how to handle.
After that, Matthew was front and center in my mind, even as I took measurements and carried boards up and down stairs. When I was free to let my mind wander, it went straight to the weight of his hand on the back of my head and the warmth of his skin under my cheek. Not to mention the milk. Just thinking about it gave me a fluttery feeling in my belly that made me wish I could text him just to say hi, but that felt too needy.
Probably because I did need him. I also needed to know we were okay.
Nothing was bad this morning when I woke up, but we didn’t get a chance to talk or even acknowledge that anything was good, either.
The best night of my life had ended with me falling asleep with his soft skin still between my lips and his heart beating near my ear.
The rest of the day went quickly as I tried to soak up as much as I could before we clocked out for the day.
“How’d it go?” Sal patted my shoulder as I walked to the truck, which was parked next to his.
“Great.” I nodded and grinned because it really was great. “I enjoyed learning everything.”
“Good.” He rounded the back of Matthew’s truck and then stopped as I opened the door. “You learn quick, so I think we’ll be able to find a place for you long-term.”
“Yeah?” No one had ever told me they wanted to keep me around before. “That means a lot to me, boss. Thanks.”
“Drive safe, Josh.” He slapped the tail gate and started to walk toward his own. “And tell Matty I owe him a steak for referring his boy.”
My jaw went slack as all the words he said sank in. He thought I was Matthew’s boy. What did that even mean? Well, I kinda knew what it meant but not in the context that he seemed to be suggesting.
