"Depends on what it is."
"For now, please don't make any decisions that you can't undo." She let that sit for a second before continuing. "Keep showing up to these calls and stay active. Keep running and spending time outdoors. But let the relationship with Matthew stay casual for a while longer. Can you do that?"
I leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "Yeah. Okay."
“Thank you.” She leaned back in her chair like she always did when our calls wrapped up. "Then I’ll talk to you tomorrow."
"Yep, I'll be here."
When I hung up, I lay there for a minute thinking about what I’d just agreed to. I understood what she was saying and why she wanted me to move slowly. It all made perfect sense. But it was different with Matthew. I wasn’t attracted to him because he saved me. I was attracted to him because he was the sexiest man I’d ever seen. And he was the only person who had ever seen me at my absolute lowest point and wasn’t afraid to keep me around.
I was also pretty sure that none of her psychology actually applied in this situation because Matthew was genuinely exceptional, and my feelings were completely legitimate. Besides, she didn’t say we couldn’t be physical. She just said I shouldn't do anything that couldn’t be undone. But I’d already fallen for the man, so that didn’t count.
Of course, I wasn’t gonna say any of that out loud to Dr. Kim for at least a few more sessions.
On Friday morning, Matthew put a brand-new Sticks and Stones Studio polo shirt on the counter at breakfast. “We’ll leave after lunch.”
“Okay.” I stared at that shirt the whole time I was eating. I’d had uniform shirts before, but this one felt different. Special. Important. “I’ll be ready.”
After a couple sandwiches, we drove up to Pacifica in Matthew’s truck with the plans rolled up behind the seat and the radio on low.
The building we were going to was huge but had seen better days. The restaurant on the ground floor was open, but there was scaffolding going up the side, and I couldn’t wait to see the view from the roof where the new bar was going.
The foreman we were meeting was a broad guy named Sal who shook Matthew's hand and then looked at me. "You finally hired some help?"
"Not hired help. This is Joshua." Matthew winked at me, and I felt it land somewhere in my chest. "He's got a construction background and wanted to see what we’re working on here."
Sal shook my hand and handed us each a hardhat. “Good to meet you, Joshua. We’ve got a lot going on here, but let me know if you have any questions about anything you see.”
“Thanks, Sal. It’s good to meet you too.”
For the next few hours, I followed behind them, listening to everything they talked about and making mental notes of things I wanted clarification on. Matthew and Sal talked through the rooftop access and a complication with the stairwell that was gonna require some creative problem-solving. While they were working, I tried not to interrupt, but as soon as I had the green light to ask questions, I had a million of them.
I wanted to know about the demo sequence and what they were salvaging and how they were handling the load transfer once the center wall got its new openings. And what about railings? How were they going to keep people safe without obstructing the view? Matthew stood back and grinned as Sal answered every question without making me feel like I was a nuisance.
When we were wrapping up, Sal rolled up the plans and slid them back into the tube before looking directly at me. "You said you've done reclamation work?"
"Yeah, mostly brick and barn wood. Demo and salvage stuff."
He nodded slowly and glanced between me and Matthew. "You looking for work?"
My heart started racing, but I tried not to show it in my voice. "What kinda work?"
"This job's got eight weeks of heavy demo and structural work before we get into finishes. I need guys who aren't gonna cry when they break a sweat." He shook his head like he wasn’t exaggerating. "Pay's good, and the foreman's solid."
I looked at Matthew before I could stop myself. “Um…”
Matthew’s eyebrow was just slightly raised, like he was waiting to see what I'd do.
"Yes." The word was out before I finished thinking it through. "Yeah, I’ll take it."
Matthew cleared his throat to get the attention back on him. "That’s a generous offer, Sal. Joshua would be great on your crew, but can he get back to you Monday?"
Sal looked between us and seemed to understand more than I did. "Monday's fine." He gave me his card. "Think it over and give me a call when you’re ready."
Woody's was quiet for a Friday evening. Just a few tables were occupied, and the familiar smells from the grill made me wonder why I ever wanted to leave this place. Jeanette was behind the counter when we came in, and when she saw me, her face changed.
She rushed around the counter faster than I expected for someone her age and stopped in front of me with her hands pressed together in front of her mouth. "Oh, sweetheart." She took my face in both hands the way my own grandmother used to when I was very young, and she looked at me for a long second. "I'm so glad you're here."
