He smiled at that and sighed. "People hold on for all kinds of reasons. Reasons that don’t have to be profound to be real." He tilted his head just slightly. "Is that the only reason you're still here?"
I looked at the wall that backed up to Matthew's bedroom and didn't answer.
But Dr. Arthur wasn’t gonna let me off that easily. "Joshua."
"I don't know. He's very…" I stopped when I realized what I was about to say.
The doctor didn’t back down. "He's very what?"
I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes for a moment. "Matthew makes me feel like I'm worth the trouble. And I haven't felt like that in a really long time."
The doctor nodded like that made complete sense to him and didn't push any further.
As if that was all he was waiting for me to say, he reached into his bag and came out with a business card. "I’m going to recommend an online therapy service. You can do it from your phone, and they’re open twenty-four hours a day."
I looked at the card with wide eyes. "I can't afford that right now, but I’ll look into it when I get a job."
He narrowed his eyes. "The first ten sessions are free."
Now I was the suspicious one. Ten sessions sounded like at least nine too many. “Really?”
"That's just how the program works." His face was perfectly stoic, but I couldn’t help wondering if Matthew was actually subsidizing thesefreesessions.
Either way, I decided not to pull on that thread with him. Matthew had the most to gain by me getting healthy since I was living in his house. If a few therapy sessions would ease his conscience about me leaving, that was a reasonable ask.
"Okay." I picked up the card and read the contact information. "I'll set something up."
"Today." He looked me in the eye and waited for me to agree.
"Today. I promise."
Dr. Arthur pushed back from the table and stood up. “You have my contact information as well, so please feel free to call me at any time. Even if you just want someone to talk to or need a ride home. I’ll come if you call.”
A ball of emotion clogged my throat, so I cleared it and searched for the courage to ask the last question on my mind. The question I needed to ask someone other than Matthew. "Um, before you go, is everything we talked about confidential?"
The doctor stopped and turned back to face me. "Of course, as long as nobody's going to get hurt, including you."
"Okay, then I have one last question that’s just between us." I sucked in a deep breath and then squared my shoulders in an attempt to gather up some nerve I didn’t have. "Is it possible for men to make milk?"
6
MATTHEW
I came out of my room just before noon and almost walked straight into Joshua before I noticed him standing over the credenza.
He had his arms crossed and his head tilted slightly to one side, looking at the set of plans I'd left spread out there two days ago and never put away. He didn't hear me come in because he was so focused on what he was looking at.
I couldn’t resist stopping in the doorway and watching him for a second before I said anything. "That one’s in Pacifica." I came around beside him and smoothed down the upper corner that was curling up. "My client wants to expand his restaurant by renovating some attached retail space."
"Sounds like a big restaurant." He pointed at the outdoor area that used to be a garden center. "Will that be outdoor seating?"
"Yeah, actually.” I raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Did you take an architecture course when I wasn't looking?"
The corner of his mouth moved with the hint of a smile. "I told you I did construction."
"You said you moved bricks."
"I moved bricks, and I paid attention." He pointed to the storefront window line that had my redline markups. "What’s changing on these?"
