They couldn’t be bothered to give me any sense of normalcy or stability when I was a kid. Nope, then they just ignored me. I never asked for anything, though. I knew I wouldn’t get what I needed.
And here we are, in the same situation, aren’t we? Yeah, they might be willing to “help” me, but it’s not what I need. I just need to be able to get a car. If I could get myself a car, I can make it, just like I’ve been making it all along.
Pulling out my phone again, I send a text to Jason.
Instead of this elaborate marriage arrangement, couldn’t you just help me buy a car?
Jason
If that’s really what you want, absolutely. I’m just worried it won’t be enough. You still won’t have insurance. You still won’t have stability. And you still won’t be able to actually pursue your dream of playing with a major orchestra. You’ll keep doing food delivery and scraping by. And what if something happens—you get a flat or get in a car accident, and I’m not there to make sure you’re okay? I don’t like that at all.
I sit and read his message over and over. I have no idea how many times—fifty? A hundred? A thousand?
He’ll help me. The way I want—and the way I need. He’s not offering control, he’s offering stability. And … I don’t even know what that feels like. I don’t think I’ve ever felt totally stable. When I was at Lawrence, I mostly did, but even then, I always worried my parents might decide not to help with the portion of tuition my scholarships didn’t cover. I took out some student loans, but if they hadn’t pitched in, I would’ve needed to take more. As it was, I was hungry for gigs and students as soon as I was able to get them. I thought moving to Madison would give me a bigger metro area to be able to draw from after graduation—and I wasn’t wrong, exactly, it’s just. It hasn’t been enough.
Of course, if I move to Seattle, I’ll basically be starting from scratch, won’t I?
Well, not a hundred percent. I already have my website with recordings and reviews there. I’d have to take down the quartet part, and I’d feel kinda bad leaving my quartet in the lurch.
Am I making the decision to go to Seattle? Gritting my teeth, I text Jason again.
I’m not totally on board with the marriage thing, but I’ll take you up on your offer of coming there. If that’s still okay.
Of course. Tell me when you want to leave, and I’ll book your plane ticket. And get you an Uber to the airport. How’s tomorrow?
His response makes me chuckle, which is a relief after the churning panic that was choking me just a few minutes ago. And I guess that’s how I know this is the right choice. Texting Jason and saying yes doesn’t make me want to panic. Honestly, even the thought of a quick courthouse wedding to get insurance doesn’t strike fear in my heart the way I feel like it ought to. Definitely not the way moving home with my parents does.
I need a little more time than that. I’ll need to give my roommate notice
I’ll pay her through the end of next month. But you shouldn’t stay that long. Especially not without a car. Do you need a rental car while you finish up there, though? Do you have any more gigs this month?
Yeah. Two weddings. I’d like to finish those out before going there
Oh my god, I’m really doing this.
Okay. Just let me know what date you want to leave by, and I’ll book the ticket. Don’t get cold feet!
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jason
Ticket’s booked and in your inbox
Hailey
Got it! Thank you so much
You don’t have to keep thanking me every time I do anything
Yeah, man. I kinda do. You’ve spent thousands of dollars already, you’ve given me a way out of the collapse of everything, and you’re letting me move in with you. The absolute least I can do is say thank you
I’m also offering to marry you so you have access to everything. Are you going to say thank you when the judge says, “You may kiss the bride?”
Maybe. Depends on how good the kiss is
I tapmy fingers on the side of my phone, reading that last message over again. I’m tempted to say something like,Oh, it’ll be good. Or,You’ll definitely thank me then. But I also don’t want to get too flirty. I promised this wasn’t that kind of situation. I said it was just business, just practical, just a beneficial arrangement, though she definitely benefits more than I do. Still. It’s not like I need anything. I have my dream job, plenty of money, friends and family I love and who love me. What more could a guy want?
In this case, it’s to help his best friend’s little sister when she’s basically hit rock bottom. I can’t even imagine what she’d be doing if her car had died in front of someone else’s house. I would’ve never known she needed help if it hadn’t happened right in front of me.
