“Still slaying the chicks?”
“I wouldn’t be my daddy’s kid if I wasn’t.”
I dap him up, and we laugh as I turn to see Charisma standing behind us, shaking her head. Beside her is the cutest little girl with bows at the ends of two long ponytails. She watches me warily and then glances at her brother before turning her gaze back to me.
“Hey, Miana. You don’t remember me because you were only three when I left. I’m your uncle Chaos.”
“I know who you are,” she states shyly.
“You do?”
She nods. “Mm-hmm.”
“Daddy talks about you all the time, Unc, and he shares photos of you with us,” Tico explains.
I was close to Jagged and his family before I left. He was the big brother I never had, so I’m glad to hear that he made sure that his kids knew me too.
“Aww. That’s so sweet,” Charisma coos from behind us.
“A’ight. Y’all hungry?” I ask, trying to shut her little emotional ass down before she starts crying like she’s cumming.
“Yep,” Tico replies. “Where’s Mama and Daddy?”
“Ya mama went in labor, and your daddy took her to the hospital.”
“Is she okay? Is the baby okay?” Miana asks quickly.
“Everybody is good. That’s why Charisma and I are here,” I explain, pointing the spatula in Charisma’s direction.
“That’s cool,” Tico states.
“A’ight. Put your bags down, change your clothes, wash your hands, and then come grab something to eat,” I command as I pour several seasonings into the meat to turn it into taco meat.
It doesn’t take long before I’ve fed everyone, and we’re sitting around the table doing homework.
While I’m working on math equations with Tico, Charisma’s little brainiac ass flies through history, language arts, and science homework with Miana.
I keep catching myself looking over at her as she works with Miana. I can easily see her at a table like this with CJ and me working on his homework. I wonder if she ever thinks about having more kids, and it fucks my head up that I want more.
I want to see that woman’s belly big with my seed. I want to rub her feet, massage her back, and run out at all times of the night to get whatever she craves. I want to be by her side as she gives birth, and I want us sitting around a damn table like this one, doing homework with our jits. Damn. Ain’t that some shit? When the fuck had I become a TV dad?
I want to be more a part of her and CJ’s life. I wonder what school has been like for him and how hard he’s had to fight to make sure he gets a good education. The doorbell rings as Jagged’s parents arrive, and I push all those thoughts to the back of my mind so we can discuss later.
There’s one thing I do know: I canno longer pretend that I don’t still love her, because I do. I wonder if she feels the same way, or if she has fallen in love with the senator.
“I miss you too, man.” Chaos not only says those words to our son, but he also signs them. We have just finished dinner, and we’re sitting on the couch on LiveTime with CJ and Chrishanna. She’s in the background folding clothes, and though I try to see their background clearly, I cannot tell if they’re in the same time zone as we are or not. There are no windows in view, and while I want to ask CJ, I don’t want to alert him that anything is wrong.
He thinks that he’s just on vacation with his aunt Chrissy, and I’m fine to let him believe that, if he’s safe and his innocence is protected.
“When you get back home, I have so much planned for us to do,” I sign.
He gets excited and starts asking if we can go to the movies, the fun zone, the amusement park, and if he can have a party. He’s asking so many questions, and I miss him so much that I’m inclined to say yes to everything, but instead, I reply, “No, you’re not about to guilt me.” I sign the words, even as I speak them, because I want Chaos to catch on and to be clear on what our conversation is.
I’ve been teaching him sign language in our downtime, and he’s caught on fast. I’m proud of him, but I cannot wait for him and CJ to interact, because I know that it will be more meaningful.
His phone rings, and he glances at it with a frown. “I’ll be back. I need to take this call.”
“Say bye to CJ. He’s asking where are you going.”
