I don’t bother to say another word; instead, I drop to my knees. I remove his hands and take him into mine. My strokes are slow and hard, and I use my free hand to massage his balls before I finally slide him between my lips.
“Aww, yeah,” he grumbles, resting his hand on my head. Slowly, he rocks back and forth until his pace picks up. The intensity with which he bucks into me increases, and the pace grows faster.
I regulate my breathing because this one thing I can do very well—suck dick. When he first taught me how to do it all those years ago, he was amazed that I had no gag reflex.
I take him all the way back, and I close my eyes, loving how he expands the further back in my throat he goes. He’s smooth but rigid everywhere a vein lies. The salty, musky taste of him satiates an exotic desire deep within me.
“Ohh, Charisma.” He groans and repeats my name as his hands tighten around my head. “You know just what I need.”
He rocks his hips forward again, and then he pulls back and out. My eyes fly open as I look up into his face. I can’t read his expression, because it’s hardened but impassive.
Chaos reaches down and lifts me into his arms and pins me against the shower wall in one swoop. He spreads my legs andrasps, “Gimme my pussy, Charisma. I ain’t playin’ either. You betta throw this shit at me like you a gahdamn pitcher on a mound.”
“I’ve got you, baby.” I wrap my legs around his waist and slide smoothly down his shaft. “Ohh, Chaos.”
“I’ma knock this bitch outta the park,” he declares as he thrusts hard up into me.
I clench all around him, and he shifts up so hard that it knocks the breath out of my lungs. I cannot move, because he has me impaled against the shower wall, and he propels himself into me with all his might.
He wraps one hand around my thigh, and I know that he’ll leave marks there as his fingers press deep into my flesh. His other hand goes around my neck, and he squeezes. He bares his teeth, and his head tilts to the side as he glares at me through a slitted gaze.
“Gimme that pussy, Charisma. You fucking teasing me right now, and I told you that I need you to throw this bitch.”
“I ca-ca-can’t move,” I gasp, barely able to speak through the grip he has around my neck.
“I’ma move this pussy like I’m moving mountains. Tell me you can’t give me my shit the way I want you to.”
He thrusts inside of me so hard that I feel like I’m about to break in half, but as rough as he is, it feels so damn good. This feels like what I’ve been needing all along.
When I cum a few minutes later, he’s nowhere near done with me. Chaos pulls out of me, and he lowers me to my feet. He spins me around and smacks my ass. “Hold your ankles,” he orders.
I do as he says, and he pulls my ass cheeks apart. When he rocks into me from behind, I can tell that it’s only a matter of time before he loses it. He slams into me repeatedly, causing me to slam my head against the shower wall.
“Damn, Chaos!”
“Shut that shit up and give me my gahdamn pussy, woman! I ain’t gon’ tell ya ass again.”
I place one of my hands against the shower wall to protect my brains from getting rammed out of my head, because this nigga has lost his damn mind. He slams into me so hard that I feel like I’m about to split. What the hell is wrong with him, and why did he come home with so much aggression?
He pulls out a couple of minutes later and spills his seed all over my back. When he’s finished, he helps me stand, but he’s unusually quiet.
“You good?” I ask.
“Not in the mood to talk, Charisma.”
“Fine. Don’t.”
I grab his washcloth and pour some shower gel on it. I wash his body, and he doesn’t protest. I wish I knew what was going on inside of his head. When I finish washing him, he steps out of the shower, and I remain alone, washing myself.
I feel horrible because I thought we were starting to reconnect. After having sex with him again and sharing details of my personal life, he didn’t reciprocate. He has become distant, and he has shut me out like he did all those years ago. It was a huge mistake trying to reconnect with him again.
I don’t know why I’m such a fool for him when I have held other men at different standards. Maybe because he was the one who I gave my virginity to. Maybe because Chaos is the only man with whom I have ever been intimately involved with. The only one who hurt me in the end, and yet, here I am, repeating history.
I should just leave, but I want CJ to have a bond with his father. I also need Chaos’s help finding out what happened, and I want to see what his life is like now before I make a final determination about how deeply he can become involved in CJ’slife. I’ve seen a little but not a lot, especially since he’s returned to the States only recently.
My mama always said you might as well use men for their money in exchange for your body because once you give them your heart, they will make a fool out of you. Chaos is only proving her point, goddamn him.
I thought that the night he didn’t show up when I had to tell him that I was pregnant was the worst he could hurt me, but then he disappeared for five years. Even that is nothing compared with how badly my heart is hurting right now. All that pales in comparison to this. I sink to the floor of the shower wall and let the tears fall.
