Though it feels good now, I know that later, I’ll lie in this bed beside him, wondering what the hell just happened.
My head is all kinds of fucked up. I can’t explain why I just did what I did in a million years. It would have been better if I had gone off and fucked one of the whores rather than fucking with her. Before we sat down to eat earlier, I had called Ox, one of my MC brothers, and Rage, our treasurer, and given them instructions on how to find her apartment after she told me where she lived. I also gave them a description of her car and gave them a few places where they might find it.
They found her car parked in the back lot of the studio where she held her podcast and had interviewed Emmanuel Tennison, only a couple of blocks from the coffee shop they walked to.
The car was unlocked, and Ox and Rage found her keys on the driver’s seat. She claimed she never would have done that,and she firmly believed that someone had set them in there. She just wasn’t sure why. That makes it easy for my brothers to get in her apartment, grab some things she and CJ needs, and drop them back off to me along with a new lock set for my bedroom door.
I installed the lock on the bedroom door while she was in the shower, and I locked the key in the lockbox. I’m leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom, watching her as she brushes her hair back. She’s so damn beautiful still, but a part of me hates her.
The tension I’d felt about being disturbed with the sweetbutts is gone because Charisma can suck a mean dick. I’m annoyed that she did it, though, because I wonder if she only did it to get me to let my guard down so that she can escape.
I don’t trust her ass, and I know that she thinks she’s gaining the upper hand. I remember how she often used sex as a weapon when we were together, sucking me off to get her way, or sexing me to de-stress me after a rough day or week.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks when she sets her brush down and climbs into bed.
“CJ.”
“What about him?” she asks, pulling her knees to her chest and tugging the hem of her nightshirt down the front of her legs.
“Didn’t my mama ever show him pictures of me?”
“No. I asked them not to since you chose to leave. She didn’t like it, but she respected it.”
“I want to know more about him. What’s his favorite color?”
“Purple and blue.”
“What’s his favorite food?”
“Pizza, of course.”
“Does he like sports?”
“He likes running and swimming.”
“Does he have a lot of friends? What type of school does he go to? Was he born deaf? Is it hard for him?”
“Whew. Okay, one at a time.” She flashes a rare smile my way, but I don’t return it.
“Yes, he has quite a few friends. He even has three hearing friends who visit him quite often at our home. They’ve learned sign language, and he’s getting better at reading lips. He attends Clear Springs Academy, and he has been attending there since he was two. He loves it, and Mrs. Forest, his teacher, adores him. Although he’s out for summer break, he looks forward to returning to kindergarten in the fall. Yes, he was born deaf, and no, it hasn’t been hard for him, because it’s the life he was born into. Does he face challenges? Yes, he does, like any normal person. His challenges are geared toward his life.”
“Do they know what caused him to be deaf?”
She stares at me, and her mouth works back and forth, but no words come forth.
“Hey, did you hear me?”
“Yes!” she snaps.
She closes her eyes, inhales deeply, and slowly exhales. “I’m sorry. He was born deaf because he was premature, and because he had a lack of oxygen during his delivery. I had a prolonged and complicated labor, and his umbilical cord was wrapped around him for a while.”
Tears fringe her eyelashes, and I want to go to her and comfort her, but I don’t. I know that I’m coming off like an asshole, but it’s the only way that I can keep my feelings at bay. I feel helpless, as if I’m to blame because my ass should’ve been there.
“You’ve got some pictures of him in your phone?”
She nods and grabs it from the nightstand. I charged it for her and returned it to her, despite promising myself that I would keep it. When Ox and Rage brought her items to me, they alsobrought a little chip from Geek, our MC’s tech guru. I installed it in her phone so that I could trace any incoming calls.
“Let me see it.”
