“Because this was all supposed to be fake,” I finally said in broken words. “Our rehearsed kisses, the pictures, lying to our friends and family. It was all fake, Derek. All of it. And now—” I pressed a hand to my stomach. “Now there’s going to be a baby, and how do I explain that? How do I?—”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he said as I heard his stutter creeping in. “I-It d-doesn’t have to be fake.”
“I know,” I whispered.
His eyes went wide. “W-What?”
I took a shuddering breath and wiped my tears with trembling hands. “It was a mistake, okay? I overheard you and Charlotte talking. In that hotel hallway after the wedding. I heard everything.”
The color drained from his face. “Everything?”
“Yes. About how you…” I paused. “Ever since we were kids. How you stopped eating when Jack proposed. How you?—”
I couldn’t finish.
“Okay,” he said. “Okay. So now you know. I’m sorry, I was going to tell you today—I mean, after the divorce but… you know.”
He took a breath, and I watched him straighten his shoulders.
“What’s the issue here? I don’t understand.”
“The issue is that—Derek. You’ve lived your entire life without moving on. You’ve wasted decades on someone who wasn’t available, who couldn’t give you what you deserved, and?—”
“Who says I want to move on?” He stepped closer, and I felt the warmth radiating from his body. “Who says any of that was wasted?”
“But I’m…” I gestured helplessly at myself. “Why? Why me? I’m a mess, Derek. I’m freshly divorced, with a toddler, and now I’m pregnant with your baby, and you could have anyone. Anyone in the world who doesn’t come with all this baggage?—”
He caught my hands, holding them between his like he was afraid I would disappear or run away. “I don’t want anyone else, Paige. I want you. Because I love you.”
I shook my head, tears flowing freely now. “You don’t… you can’t?—”
“I do. I can. And I have for decades.” His thumb traced my lower lip, and my breath hitched in my throat. “I’ve been in love with you since we were eight years old. Since you punched Tommy and held my hand and made me believe I was worth… something.”
I sniffled.
“Every woman I’ve dated has been a poor substitute for what I really wanted,” he continued, his voice dropping low. “Watching you marry Jack nearly destroyed me. Kelly knew it and everyone knew it except you.”
“Derek, but?—”
“Having you here, in my home, with your daughter… our routine, nights on the couch, every single moment we spend together, it’s the happiest I’ve ever been.” He kissed my cheek. “And the most terrified because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose this.”
“You won’t,” I whispered. “You won’t lose me.”
“Then why are you crying? Why are you talking about not keeping our baby?”
“Because I’m scared,” I confessed. “Because what if this is too much, too fast? What if you wake up one day and realize you’ve been in love with an idea of me, not the real me? The me who’s exhausted and scared and doesn’t know how to do any of this?”
“Paige.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know exactly who you are. I know you snore when you’re really tired. I know you organize your books by color even though it makes no logical sense. I know you, Paige. The real you. And I love her. All of her.”
“Even the pregnant, terrified, just-divorced version?” My voice was small.
“Especially that version.” He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye. “Because that’s the version in front of me right now.”
His warm hand slid down to rest gently on my stomach. “You, me, Lily, and this little one. That’s what I want, Paige. Forever.”
“I love you too,” I whispered. “I think I’ve loved you for longer than I knew. Longer than I let myself admit.”
His eyes widened. “Say it again.”
