It’s okay. I will find a hotel. Figure this out on my own like a rational adult.
But the thought of checking into some hotel room with Lily and being alone with the crushing weight of what had just happened, made my chest tighten until I couldn’t breathe. And underneath all the hurt and anger and humiliation, there was hope.
Maybe Derek would understand. Maybe he would know what to do.
He had always helped me and been there whenever I needed him. Like the time my high school crush broke my heart, how he’d shown up at my window with ice cream and a look of quiet anger, when I was broke and needed a job. Or the time when I broke my water, how he carried me to his car and held my hand during my labor.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I got out of the car and unstrapped Lily from her carrier. She barely stirred, her little body heavy with sleep as I settled her against my chest. Grabbing the diaper bag and the carrier in the other hand, I headed for the entrance, my heels clicking against the concrete, and making my heart pound harder.
The doorman recognized me from the countless times I had dropped off documents or picked up keys for Derek. He smiled and waved me through without question, and then I was in the elevator, watching the floor numbers climb higher and higher until I reached the penthouse.
That was when the panic really set in.
I stood frozen, staring at Derek’s private entrance. My finger hovered over the doorbell.
What am I doing? This is my boss.
My childhood friend, yes, but somewhere along the way—between college, career and my wedding to Jack—we had lost that easy familiarity. Now he was just my boss. The man whose coffee I fetched, whose meetings I scheduled and whose perfectly pressed suits I picked up from the dry cleaner.
And I was about to show up at his door at six o’ clock on a Friday night, mascara streaking down my face, with a baby on my hip and nowhere else to go.
Lily whimpered, and the sound shattered my overthinking. I pressed the bell, instantly regretting the decision.
The seconds stretched, and I almost turned back. Almost stabbed the lobby button and fled back to my car. But then footsteps approached from inside, and the door swung open.
Derek stood there, and for a moment, neither of us moved.
He had clearly just gotten out of the shower. His dark hair was damp and disheveled, water still beading at his temples. He was wearing gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His chest was bare, all lean muscle and golden skin, and I might have found it distracting if I weren’t currently falling apart.
His blue eyes, the same eyes that had watched me climb trees and scrape my knees when we were kids, went wide with shock.
“Paige?”
2
WHAT’S YOUR SIZE?
PAIGE
My name came out rough and confused out of his mouth.
I watched his gaze travel from my face to Lily and back to me.
I had left the house so fast I hadn’t even grabbed my coat. My white blouse was wrinkled and stained with spit-up. My hair had fallen out of its usual neat bun with a few strands sticking to my wet cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” I said. My voice was nothing but a broken whisper. “I shouldn’t have come here. I didn’t know where else… I couldn’t?—”
My words cracked and then the careful control I had been clutching just shattered.
A sob tore from my throat. It was raw, ugly and utterly mortifying. I pressed my hand over my mouth, trying desperately to shove it back in, to be Professional Paige again. But it was too late. The dam had broken.
“She was in our bed, Derek,” I said, my words coming out strangled between sobs. “While I was at work, while I was getting your dry cleaning and confirming your dinner reservations, he was?—”
I couldn’t finish. Flashes of them together, giggling and kissing as our bed creaked, made me want to be sick.
Derek moved fast.
One second he was standing in the doorway looking shocked, and the next his hand was on my arm, warm and solid, pulling me inside.
