He studied me for a long moment, and I could see the concern in his eyes. “And you think you can do that? Pretend this is fake when it’s clearly not?”
“I have to.”
“You don’t?—”
“I have to,” I repeated. “Because the alternative is watching myself hurt her when my commitment issues inevitably kick in. I don’t want to disappoint her or Lily.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “I can’t do that to them. I won’t.”
“You’re making a mistake,” Sean said, standing up. “But I can see you’re not ready to hear that.” He moved toward the door, then paused with his hand on the handle. “Just... don’t wait too long to figure out what you really want. Because from where I’m standing, you’re about to let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away and call it fake.”
“Sean, you know I?—”
“Break it off before either of you gets hurt,” he said. “That’s my advice as your friend. But as your business partner?” He shook his head. “Make sure you know what you’re doing. Because if this blows up, it’s not just your heart on the line. It’s hers. And Lily’s. And your career, if Jack decides to make a noise about his assistant sleeping with her boss.”
He left, closing the door softly behind him, and I sank back into my chair.
He was right about all of it.
But that didn’t change the fundamental truth that I wasn’t built for this. I spent my entire adult life proving that relationships weren’t my thing. That I was better alone, better keeping things casual, better not letting anyone get too close.
Paige and Lily deserved better than a man who would inevitably let them down.
My phone buzzed with a text.
Paige: Found your note. Thank you for last night. Are you okay?
I stared at the message. What was I supposed to say? That I left because I was terrified of what last night meant? That I couldn’t trust myself not to hurt her? That being with her felt too right, too fucking perfect, and that scared me more than anything?
Instead, I replied,
I’m good. I had a busy morning. You should stay home and rest.
I hit send before I could second-guess myself, then set my phone face-down on my desk.
Sean was right. I needed to end this before it went any further. Before I did irreparable damage to the one person I spent my entire life trying to protect.
I’ll stick to the plan. Help Paige get her divorce and play the part of a devoted boyfriend until Jack signs the papers. Then I’d let her go, the way I should have done years ago.
It was the right thing to do and the smart thing.
So why did it feel like I was already breaking?
I turned back to my computer, forcing myself to focus on work. On contracts and depositions. On anything except the taste of her pussy lingering on my lips and the look in her pretty eyes when she had trembled before falling apart in my mouth.
19
YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER
DEREK
It had been five days since that night, and I still hadn’t ended it.
Five days since I had tasted Paige and lost whatever remained of my self-control. Five days since Sean had cornered me in my office, telling me to break things off. Five fucking days of telling myself I’d do it tomorrow, that I’d sit Paige down and explain that we needed to go back to being just business partners.
But every time I tried, every time I opened my mouth to say the words, I’d look at her and couldn’t do it.
So instead, we fell into a routine.
I adjusted my work schedule, blocking out mornings so Paige could shower and get ready without worrying about Lily. I started working from home two days a week so I could help with the midday chaos. I hired a part-time nanny, Sarah, who came three afternoons a week, but I insisted on doing bedtime myself.
