“Thanks. I have to run. I’m late for work. Tell Ian I said hi.”
“I’ll call you later,” I reply, following her toward the door and trying to ignore the tatted Adonis as he meets my gaze again.
“Have a good day, ladies,” he says, his voice smooth and deep.
“Thanks. You, too.”
Amy laughs at my flippant reply. We step out into the heat. “Do you need a cab?”
“No, I’m going to grab a few things from the drugstore and stop in the bank.”
“Okay, see ya.” Amy’s long blond waves bounce on her shoulders as she signals for a cab. Two taxis pull up instantly and I shake my head in amusement. Amy is my age, but aesthetically we’re complete opposites. She’s that perfect five pound blond all women love to hate. Beautiful face, beautiful body, and a great personality to boot. It’s enough to make you sick. My common brown hair, brown eyes, and fat ass make me invisible to the opposite sex when I’m with her. Still, it’s amusing to watch men trip over their tongues when she enters the room, knowing they aren’t even on her radar.
Amy’s in love. Who would’ve thought? We met in our last year of high school seven years ago and we’ve been through a lot together. She was by my side through my horrible breakup with Sean, and I helped her through her struggle to come out to herfamily. She’s the closest thing to family I’ve ever known.
After half an hour in line at the drugstore, my patience is thin. All I needed was a stick of deodorant and nail clippers for hell’s sake. Sweat drips down my sides as I enter the bank, the push of cold air like heaven on my clammy skin. At least the line isn’t too long.
My breath catches in my throat when I look up from my phone into an intense blue gaze. He’s here. The hunk of inked up sex from the diner stands at the last teller window, a small smile on his face. His eyes travel from my feet to my head, dissolving every stitch of clothing in the process. Shit, Everly, don’t look at him. I’m not unattractive in a “she never outgrew her tomboy phase” sort of way, but this guy is miles out of my league.
A sudden pop behind me causes my ears to ring and cold fear trickles down my spine. When I turn to face the source of the gunshot, I’m horrified to see four men with automatic weapons blocking the exit, their faces hidden behind white Playboy Bunny masks. Fuck me. It’s The Naked Bandits.
A viral sensation the cops can’t seem to catch, they strike small banks in the mid-morning lull. They’re typical armed robbing assholes except for one thing. They force the employees and bystanders to strip. Cops can’t say if it’s a strategy to keep people from running, a way to fuck with people’s heads and keep them under control, or if they’re just perverts who get off on watching naked people. On the plus side, they never hurt anyone, and even remove the children and elderly to an office before the skin fest begins.
The largest of the four bandits leaps to the counter, his voice carrying across the room. “You lucky fucks are in the presence of greatness. I’m sure you’ve heard of us so you know the routine. Get it all off and nobody gets hurt. Don’t be shy, now. You, sweetheart.” He gestures to the teller. “Fill up those bags. Don’t even think about hitting an alarm or you’ll be responsible for the pile of naked bloody bodies I’ll leave behind.” Nodding, the poor woman goes from drawer to drawer, filling the bag.
His skinny partner stalks through the center of the room, sweeping the assault rifle over our heads. “He said get naked,bitches! What are you waiting for?”
Shit. This can’t be happening to me. Especially not in front of the tatted Adonis. My hands tremble as I pull my shirt over my head, revealing my plain cream colored bra. Is it weird that I’m more embarrassed than afraid? I’m not skinny by any account, but I’m not ashamed of my size eight curvy shape. Usually. Of course, I’m not typically naked in a room full of men, one too gorgeous to be real.
Glancing around me, I see the others slowly removing clothing. A couple in their fifties huddle together, the man shielding his wife’s nudity as best he can. Two burly men who look like construction workers stand side by side, hands over their privates. A sympathetic pang shoots through me at the sight of two obese ladies, formerly dressed in designer clothes, lowering their panties with tears running down their faces. What a nightmare.
My face ignites as I slip off my shorts, exposing my blue cotton boyshort panties that just scream sexy. Apparently, I’m not moving fast enough for the third gunman and he steps in front of me with a sneer. “All of it, sugar.”
“Don’t touch her.” A cold voice cuts through the room, silencing the sobs and whimpers. I know that voice. When I dare to look up, I’m met by those intense cornflower blue eyes. Completely naked, Mr. Adonis steps between me and the asshole with the gun.
“You want to be a hero? I can get your face all over the news. Give you fifteen minutes of fame when you’re the first to die.”
“Stop!” I cry. “I’m doing it! Don’t hurt anyone, please.” I unfasten my bra and rip down my panties before I can chicken out. At least I waxed. The stupidity of that thought makes me giggle. The gunman moves away, but my protector stays in front of me, shielding me from the view of the others.
His eyes never drop below my chin when he faces me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I whisper, one arm draped across my breasts, my hand cupped between my legs. “Just wondering if one can diefrom embarrassment.”
“No one can see you right now.”
“You can.”
“I’m trying not to look.” My face grows warmer at the sight of his impish grin.
“I appreciate that. I promise to keep my eyes above your waist.” There’s plenty to look at there. A chiseled chest and rippling abs lead down to a trim waist and hips, the distinctive v of abdominal muscle stretching down to…
“Ahem,” He clears his throat. Shit, that’s not keeping it above the waist. “After the way you were checking me out in line, feel free to have a peek, love.” His voice is thick with amusement.
“The grandma and the designer sisters are gawking at your ass. Isn’t that enough attention?”
“I don’t want their attention.” Is this seriously happening right now? Am I dreaming? Did someone slip acid in my orange juice? I’m standing in the middle of a bank robbery, bare ass to the wind while a nude muscled god flirts with me. Two of the bandits lead the bank manager back to open the safe while the other two guard a group of naked hostages intent on staring at the floor.
“Do you always hit on naked women in banks?”
