“Really? You had instincts to protect me?”
“I have instincts to protect any woman. That’s just who I am.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen that.”
I sat down on the couch opposite of him, the space between us feeling smaller than it actually was, and I felt kind of nervous being around him now. The testosterone he was putting out could be felt by him just sitting there, bleeding into a bandage, but not crying or making any loud noises.
“Do you need anything? Water? A blanket?”
“Nah, Nurse Jas,mine but I appreciate it.”
He smiled, and I felt my own smile come out softer than I intended, almost shy.
“Well, I guess I’ll go into the room and try to calm myself down. You can yell if you need something.”
“I will, thanks.” He replied, staring into my eyes so long I felt the tension wrap around me. I got up to walk away, and then Amir called me from behind.
“Jasmine.”
“Yeah?”
“You should stay in here and watch television with me until we both pass out. I know you're shook up right now, and you're not about to go to sleep in a dark, silent room. You need a distraction.”
My heart sped up even more because I felt like I knew where he was going with this.
“What kind of distraction. You trying to fuck me?”
He laughed.
“Trust when I am, I'll let you know.” I know I had mentioned that, but his reply caught me completely off guard. I guess I didn’t expect him to feed me back with that energy. And why did I fuckin like it?
“But, I was talking about a funny show or movie to watch or some shit.”
“Okay, what are your suggestions?”
“Uh, do you like the movie Menace to Society? It’s one of my favorites.”
“I’ve never seen that before.”
“Well, good. Sit down and enjoy the action with a side of comedy, too. Well, it may only be funny to some, but shit, I laugh at it.”
“Okay, I’m with it.”
I sat down, grabbing the folded blanket from over the back of the couch to wrap myself in. My phone was connected to the television, so I opened the remote app and typed the movie's name into Amazon Prime Video. After getting comfortable on the couch, I started the movie, and before the opening credits could start, I saw that Amir had already drifted off to sleep. That was okay, because I was going to sit right here and see what was so good about this movie. For some reason, I felt like I was at peace right now. This was only a feeling I felt at times that I was snuggled up with my son and a cold Dr. Pepper on the nightstand.
The movie started, and I was enjoying it so much, laughing and following the different emotions in the scenes. When the sex scene between the two main characters came up, it was hot, steamy, and put a mood over me. One that always got me in trouble. Especially when a man is anywhere near me.
Before I lost my virginity, I always looked at sex as something nasty people did and was for old people who were freaked out. Plus, when my sisters, Laporsha and Vanessa, told me it hurt, I was really scared, up until I finally lost my virginity to this guy from my school named Andre. Andre and I did it, and I hated it the first time, only it got better and better each time I was tricked out of my coochie. By the time I started messing with Hov, I was finding sex to be better and better; shit, it was something I quickly started to crave after that. That put me in the bedrooms, backseats, and behind buildings with men who I probably shouldn’t have let touch me. That made me get a reputation for being a hoe instead of a woman who was sexually liberated. Men sleep with different women, and it’s celebrated, but I have a high sex drive, and I get a label. That’s why I’m glad I have a son; he won’t be subjected to that bull shit. But no matter how much scrutiny I got, I still couldn’t stop the way I felt inside, and craved for that feeling even if it’s for only a moment. Not every man I’d slept with had left me satisfied, but I had a good radar for spotting the men that I knew absolutely could if they tried, like the man lying across from me.
Amir was the true definition of big dick energy. Fine, tall, and takes no shit, even though that mentality is what first made me hate his ass. That hate, however, couldn’t stand a chance against the way my body felt looking at him right now. It was like I couldn’t even remember what he did wrong and could only picture all the shit he could do right. Seeing him hanging out of that window protecting us earlier was just, ugh, it was the sexiest shit I’ve seen in a long time. He was fearless, and so was I when I wanted something. I want him, and there was no fighting or denying that anymore.
I debated with myself for only a few seconds more before I pulled the blanket off me and took off my top, placing it on thefloor. I knew my brother and P would stay over Ciara and Hov’s house for the next few hours running their mouths, so I had all the time in the world to make my move.
I stood over Amir, hoping not to frighten him when I woke him, because his gun was lying just above his head, and I’ve seen firsthand how quick he can pull it.
Should I? I don’t know if I should.
I kept debating with myself before I finally put on my big girl panties and tapped him on his shoulder.
